Brutkey

Jess👾
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange

@jasmine@chaosfem.tw Yeah, at least in English, with a bit of working around the sentence structure, "my ex" and they/them and (kid name)'s other parent can be good enough. And if someone tries to keep prying just pass it off as a "I don't really want to talk about it, we've moved on".

Jasmine running
@jasmine@chaosfem.tw

@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange somewhat similar situation in swedish except that the gender neutral pronoun ("hen") is super conspicuous and automatically outs anyone it's used for (and misgenders, in my case), so it's not usable

Jess👾
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange

@jasmine@chaosfem.tw The other alternative I suppose would be to agree on some sort of neutral sounding nickname and just don't use pronouns. "Oh yeah, back when J and I were together" or whatever like that.

Jess👾
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange

@jasmine@chaosfem.tw Or just leave it as "I don't really care what you tell people I'm unlikely to know. If you want to be homophobic/biphobia and misgender me because you don't have the guts to say my ex-wife, that's on you. Deal with it. I'm not going to give you permission to deadname or misgender me, but you're an adult, do what you will."

Jasmine running
@jasmine@chaosfem.tw

@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange that would fall under the "don't tell me to just tell her to go tuck herself. i would if that were an option. it is not" paragraph of my original post though, but you're an adult etc

Jess👾
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange

@jasmine@chaosfem.tw Sorry