Brutkey

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

Bad jokes, worse opinions. Tonally all over the place. Irish (North), living in England. Leftist provincial dad. He/him. Trying to be an ally 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️.

“Nick is great and not an insidious piece of shit” - @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

The Toots, the whole Toots and nothing but the Toots: https://justmytoots.com/@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

Avi: himself, default white bloke in glasses, b&w. Header: drawing of Aretha Franklin’s eyes staring out over sunglasses.


Notes
38102
Following
0
Followers
0
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

Instead of using AI images to illustrate your blogpost or presentation, why not go deep into the forest, lie down in a pile of autumn leaves and allow the earth to consume your body.

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

Starbuck: I’ve decided that when I retire from this whaling business I’ll open a coffee shop. We’ll sell lattes and blubbery muffins.

Ishmael: Do you mean blueberry muffins?

Starbuck: I meant what I said.

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

My new coffee machine wants to be connected to the internet. I am not letting it connect to the internet. If it’s bored, it can read a book.

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

Hello!

30 trillion cells in my body are human, whatever that means, and 38 trillion are various bacteria! There are a bunch of viruses too which are currently impacting my functionality!

I am 68 trillion microorganisms in a trench coat which results in a sort of self-propelling, self-replicating digestion tube, but I am paid to act as if I am a clean, rational, thinking machine!

This is very stressful for all 68 trillion of us, so sometimes we complain about it on the internet.

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

For those who are still interested, which I cannot imagine is many of you, the RottenTomatoes score is down to 8% and they are still yet to list a bunch of negative reviews like the Empire one.

In the meantime here’s the New Yorker, GQ and Cinerama. #Melania #USpol

GQ Melania May Go Down in History as One of the Least Revealing Documentaries Ever Made But if you've never watched the First Lady get on and off a plane, Brett Ratner's got a movie for you. By Vince Mancini February 2, 2026 Melania (review) - media like this, that is so unashamedly propagandistic, needs to be called out for what it is 2nd February 2026 • by Calum Cooper Melania is shambolic, putrid, pitiful garbage: A brazen, awkward, irredeemable infomercial that ignores truth and scrutiny in favour of performative humility. It's not just wretched - it's offensive to the collective intelligence of the human race. No stars Avoid THE NEW YORKER "MELANIA" IS A FORTY- MILLION-DOLLAR JOURNEY INTO THE VOID The First Lady's lavish new documentary portrays world events as B-roll between wardrobe changes. By Lauren Collins February 2, 2026
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

This Sean Burns review has some observations about the audience in his screening.

https://northshoremovies.wpcomstaging.com/2026/01/31/review-melania/

#Melania #USpol

I saw "Melania" at four o'clock in the afternoon on opening day at the AMC Assembly Row in Somerville. It was playing in the 12-screen complex's smallest auditorium, all the way in the back, where posters advertised coming attractions "Sisu: Road to Re- venge," "Americana" and "Ella McCay," three films that opened and closed last year. The room was packed near capacity with women in their 50s, audi- bly wine-drunk and unable to keep themselves from making catty comments whenever Joe Biden or any other Democrats appeared onscreen. There were only two males besides myself in the theater, one wearing an American flag patch on his jacket the way motorcycle gangs wear their colors, the other with a shaved head and the thumb-shaped proportions of guys who make front-facing camera videos in their pickup trucks. I didn't ask them how they liked the movie, but the whole place did applaud when the Bidens' helicopter left after the inauguration. Going to see "Mela- nia" was clearly a pilgrimage of sorts for these people, their way of "owning the libs." They seemed happy to have been suckered, the President once again fleec- ing his followers with the multiplex edition of Trump's NFTs or the Trump Bible. I know every- thing's a grift all the way down, but you'd think peo- ple would see through something this contemptu- ously slapdash. There's more than one scene in the movie where everyone just stands around watching TV. The porcine Ratner can be glimpsed on the mar- gins of the action, and is sometimes heard shouting obsequious comments from out of frame. ("Congrat- ulations, Mr. President!") He's often pointing a Super 8 camera, from which we occasionally see the jerky, unfocused footage. At least Leni Riefenstahl could frame a shot Zero out of five
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

I’m not saying they needed to do this. You also could just tell pro-Trump Facebook groups to book in this way and leave a 5-star rating and they’d do it, because they’re a bunch of hateful zombie fascist pricks with broken souls.

This is likely to be especially successful for a film where no-one who is not a zombie fascist prick with a broken soul (or a paid film critic) would ever contemplate spending money to watch such shite.

#Melania #USpol

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

That is not how film reviews work. This is the type of person who gives a book a one star review on Amazon because the courier left the parcel in the bushes.

I mean it’s not how feminism works either, but one lesson at a time, eh? #Melania #USpol

JAN 31, 2026 10 yurieu I voted 10 because I'm a feminist. The misogynists critics rated it ZERO because she's a woman. It's impossible to rate a movie ZERO. Zero means the cinema projector failed and the movie didn't play.
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

#Melania now has a “Verified Hot” status based on audience reviews.

It appears you need 500 verified user ratings to get to that status. To post a verified review, you need to book a ticket through the Fandango app (sounds like a swizz, but bear with).

You don’t have to turn up and watch the movie. The average cost of a cinema ticket in the US is $11.

If you wanted to post 500 five star verified reviews, it would cost you $5,500.

#USpol

Tomatometer All Critics Top Critics 11% 19 Reviews 2 Fresh 17 Rotten Popcornmeter Verified Audience Rotten Tomatoes 99% 500+ Verified Ratings 4.9 out of 5 Rating
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

I’m not saying they needed to do this. You also could just tell pro-Trump Facebook groups to book in this way and leave a 5-star rating and they’d do it, because they’re a bunch of hateful zombie fascist pricks with broken souls.

This is likely to be especially successful for a film where no-one who is not a zombie fascist prick with a broken soul (or a paid film critic) would ever contemplate spending money to watch such shite.

#Melania #USpol

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

#Melania now has a “Verified Hot” status based on audience reviews.

It appears you need 500 verified user ratings to get to that status. To post a verified review, you need to book a ticket through the Fandango app (sounds like a swizz, but bear with).

You don’t have to turn up and watch the movie. The average cost of a cinema ticket in the US is $11.

If you wanted to post 500 five star verified reviews, it would cost you $5,500.

#USpol

Tomatometer All Critics Top Critics 11% 19 Reviews 2 Fresh 17 Rotten Popcornmeter Verified Audience Rotten Tomatoes 99% 500+ Verified Ratings 4.9 out of 5 Rating
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

I’m non-biased: I don’t have an opinion on fascism and genocide, and I willingly paid money to watch a dull documentary about a fascist’s moll picking an outfit.

Also “Quincy”: “pretty good” is not a five star rating. #Melania #USpol

Quincy * * * * *Verified Being non-biased, It was pretty good.
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

One (brown) star from Empire. #Melania #USpol

EMPIRE An obsequious, ring-kissing portrait of the current US administration, dressed in gauche, glossy reality-TV clothing. And yet somehow still better than Rush Hour 3.
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

The audience really enjoyed the scenes of #Melania filmed with a tiny surgical camera.

#USpol

Rebecca 18h * * * * *Verified Great glimpse into FLOTUS! Beautifully done. ••• DEBRA 1h * * * * *Verified What a beautiful woman inside and out! L lex 22h Nicely done. Excellent peaks inside!! Daniel B 22h • •• * * * * *Verified It is interesting to see behind the curtain. Well product and entertaining.
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

In case you think this is a purely political division, it‘s worth noting that even a shallow right wing rag with a readership of ancient bigots like the Daily Express gave #Melania a negative review.

#USpol

Melania review: Painfully stiff Trump puff piece is all style and no substance Melania Melania review. The First Lady's documentary film is a dull vanity project with few new insights.
Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

A second positive review has hit the #Melania rottentomatoes rating. It’s by the Epoch Times. What the fuck is the Epoch Times, you ask? Well…

Also, lol, “warmth and compassion”, and they chose that photo.

#USpol

=Q THE EPOCH BRIGHT TIMES DOCUMENTARY REVIEW 'Melania: Our Stunning First Lady Radiating Warmth and Compassion A behind-the-scenes look at the three weeks leading up to the second Trump inauguration. Picture of Melania looking exactly as cold and compassionless as ever. MELANIA Melania PG, Now Playing, Documentary 12% Tomatometer 17 Reviews The Epoch Times opposes the Chinese Communist Party, [15][16][121 promotes far-right politicians and movements in Europe, 1171118][121 and has supported President Donald Trump in the U.S. 191120] A 2019 report by NBC News showed it to be the second- largest funder of pro-Trump Facebook advertising after the Trump campaign itself. 131121][12] The Epoch Times frequently runs stories promoting other Falun Gong-affiliated groups, such as the performing arts company Shen Yun.['9||22][23] The Epoch Media Group's news sites and YouTube channels have promoted conspiracy theories such as QAnon, the Great Replacement, anti-vaccine misinformation and false claims of fraud in the 2020 United States presidential election.' 1301 In June 2024, the group's chief financial officer, Bill Guan, was indicted for money laundering. [31] The Epoch Times is a far-right!!! international multi- language newspaper and media company affiliated with the Falun Gong new religious movement. 91[10] [1111121 The newspaper, based in New York City, is part of the Epoch Media Group, which also operates New Tang Dynasty (NTD) Television. 3] The Epoch Times has websites in 35 countries but is blocked in mainland China. 14]