Thread | Brutkey

That is not how film reviews work. This is the type of person who gives a book a one star review on Amazon because the courier left the parcel in the bushes.

I mean it’s not how feminism works either, but one lesson at a time, eh? #Melania #USpol

JAN 31, 2026
10
yurieu
I voted 10 because I'm a feminist. The
misogynists critics rated it ZERO because she's
a woman. It's impossible to rate a movie ZERO.
Zero means the cinema projector failed and
the movie didn't play.

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

This Sean Burns review has some observations about the audience in his screening.

https://northshoremovies.wpcomstaging.com/2026/01/31/review-melania/

#Melania #USpol

I saw "Melania" at four o'clock in the afternoon on
opening day at the AMC Assembly Row in Somerville.
It was playing in the 12-screen complex's smallest
auditorium, all the way in the back, where posters
advertised coming attractions "Sisu: Road to Re-
venge," "Americana" and "Ella McCay," three films
that opened and closed last year. The room was
packed near capacity with women in their 50s, audi-
bly wine-drunk and unable to keep themselves from
making catty comments whenever Joe Biden or any
other Democrats appeared onscreen. There were
only two males besides myself in the theater, one
wearing an American flag patch on his jacket the way
motorcycle gangs wear their colors, the other with a
shaved head and the thumb-shaped proportions of
guys who make front-facing camera videos in their
pickup trucks. I didn't ask them how they liked the
movie, but the whole place did applaud when the
Bidens' helicopter left after the inauguration.

Going to see "Mela-
nia" was clearly a
pilgrimage of sorts
for these people,
their way of "owning the libs." They seemed happy to
have been suckered, the President once again fleec-
ing his followers with the multiplex edition of
Trump's NFTs or the Trump Bible. I know every-
thing's a grift all the way down, but you'd think peo-
ple would see through something this contemptu-
ously slapdash. There's more than one scene in the
movie where everyone just stands around watching
TV. The porcine Ratner can be glimpsed on the mar-
gins of the action, and is sometimes heard shouting
obsequious comments from out of frame. ("Congrat-
ulations, Mr. President!") He's often pointing a Super
8 camera, from which we occasionally see the jerky,
unfocused footage. At least Leni Riefenstahl could
frame a shot

Zero out of five

Nick
@Nickiquote@mstdn.social

For those who are still interested, which I cannot imagine is many of you, the RottenTomatoes score is down to 8% and they are still yet to list a bunch of negative reviews like the Empire one.

In the meantime here’s the New Yorker, GQ and Cinerama. #Melania #USpol

GQ

Melania May Go Down in
History as One of the
Least Revealing
Documentaries Ever
Made
But if you've never watched the First Lady get
on and off a plane, Brett Ratner's got a movie
for you.
By Vince Mancini
February 2, 2026

Melania (review) - media
like this, that is so
unashamedly
propagandistic, needs to be
called out for what it is
2nd February 2026 • by Calum Cooper

Melania is shambolic, putrid, pitiful
garbage: A brazen, awkward,
irredeemable infomercial that ignores
truth and scrutiny in favour of
performative humility. It's not just
wretched - it's offensive to the
collective intelligence of the human
race.

No stars

Avoid

THE NEW YORKER

"MELANIA" IS A FORTY-
MILLION-DOLLAR
JOURNEY INTO THE
VOID
The First Lady's lavish new documentary portrays
world events as B-roll between wardrobe changes.
By Lauren Collins
February 2, 2026