An interesting shitty superpower that transfem people and "passing" transmasc people have is the ability to very clearly show how different the world treats you when they perceive you as a man vs how they treat you when you're seen as anything but a man.
I've had cis people approach me and and attempt to mentor me in well intentioned but also shitty ways tell me how I need to change how I speak and be less agressive and less abrasive in order to succeed. I did just fine with that for the first 15 years of my career, but apparently in situations with certain men, particularly men in leadership, having tits means I can't push back on stupid ideas and have to approach things in a less direct and more roundabout ways.
When men show up in my life trying to talk down to me or neg me in ways I know I never got as "a man", I got no problem in telling them to fuck off.
I know just how much space I used to be afforded in society, and I intend to take up just as much space now.
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange I started my first role recently where I was obviously queer during the interview process and when starting. I've been surprised at where I see this pop up. There's someone in particular I'm thinking of who just can't help but give me advice…on the giant program I put together myself from scratch and got full leadership buy-in on. Thanks buddy‽ 😆
@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange Yep, the struggle is real.
Another common problem is that men will ignore your idea when you tell them, but they will praise the man who repeats it.
I’ve heard some (millenial) dudes explicitly credit women for their idea after they repeated it, and it made the other guys uncomfortable.
@mahryekuh@hachyderm.io When I know I'm proposing something that might make some folks respond in a sexist and yuck way, I ping a senior (cis man) ally and ask him to promptly respond with a "great idea!" And continue to build on the idea. It's much more difficult for someone to show up finding reasons to criticize a woman's idea after a man has already "endorsed" it.
@mahryekuh@hachyderm.io When I know I'm proposing something that might make some folks respond in a sexist and yuck way, I ping a senior (cis man) ally and ask him to promptly respond with a "great idea!" And continue to build on the idea. It's much more difficult for someone to show up finding reasons to criticize a woman's idea after a man has already "endorsed" it.
Jess👾
