#fedihired ?
What if we started #fediMarried? Bad idea? probably.
I still think there ought to be some kind of introverts matchmaking service. And obviously it couldn't be a paid service as that gets the incentive structure wrong.
I found my husband of 18 years online before "match.com" was totally broken. IDK what I'd do today.
I know 6 people who kind of want to get married but none of them match. Gotta cast a wider net. They are introverts so this will not happen. How many have you got?
Lots of people don't want to get married and that's fine. I just think if people want to find someone they should be able to. Being married can be awesome.
@futurebird@sauropods.win I believe the best way to find a partner is to work on things you care deeply about in a community of action. At worst you also get a bunch of great and interesting friends.
@quinn@social.circl.lu
I agree up to a point. This can be a trap: people will think that just by doing things they care about with other people they will eventually "naturally" just meet someone. It was only when I leveled with myself about what I wanted "I want to get married, a life long relationship" that I started making any real progress.
I knew many nice people but not enough to meet someone like my husband.
Started to think there was something wrong with me since it didn't just magically "happen"
@quinn@social.circl.lu
I literally ran the numbers and realized I only met about 3 new people in my age range as friends every 5 years or so.
My husband and I had zero friends in common, did none of the same clubs or activities. We would have never met in NYC if not for the dating app.
@futurebird@sauropods.win honestly, you make a lot of sense here. I think I stumbled into a short cut by being in activism circles. People who by definition are doing something social and compelling in common, but also weird and niche to most other people, make natural partners. And activists constantly sleep with each other, which also isn't a great idea, but it is a great shortcut to partnering 😂
@quinn@social.circl.lu
On my dating profile I added a line that said "maybe we can go protest the Republican national convention together" as a "date idea" and this resulted in fewer messages in my inbox but those that came were higher quality and shortly after I got a note from my now husband asking if I wanted to go to the AMNH and could we talk about Jane Jacobs maybe?
The protest suggestion made most of the "hey baby" type responses dry up.
@futurebird@sauropods.win That Jane Jacobs move is clutch 😂
@quinn@social.circl.lu
He had me good with that one.
@futurebird@sauropods.win perfect, no notes.
@quinn@social.circl.lu
I thought it was a bit forward when he wanted to show me his spreadsheets about the transportation times for different subway lines on just the second date... but I also said YES.
Being a demure woman of quality I did not show my spreadsheets to him about prime numbers until we were going steady.
(this sounds made up but is how it really went down)
myrmepropagandist