David NjokuI'm in Prague with my ex and the kids. We're walking down a street and we approach a couple standing together. As we near them, my ex smiles at the woman and she smiles back.
"You look nice," my ex says.
"So do you!"
We continue on our way.
What's the compliment that one man can innocently give to another man? I can't think of any.
Ben Rosengart@davidnjoku@mastodon.world Huh, my milieu has different rules from yours. I give other men compliments and no one thinks twice about it. “Alan, I can tell you’ve been working on your singing, sounds good.” “That’s a great blazer, Alexander, where do I get one?”
Part of it is I do music and photography, and feedback is essential to creative pursuits.
James Gallagher@davidnjoku@mastodon.world comment on a sports shirts seem safe
woe2you@davidnjoku@mastodon.world Any compliment he wants. There are no rules, be a force for Chaotic Good in the world.
Kim Possible :kimoji_fire:@davidnjoku@mastodon.world maybe "Cool kicks, Man" or the like? You're right.
Men really are taught not to do so many natural ordinary things. We should change that.
Charlotte Walker@davidnjoku@mastodon.world I worked with a user of a service for ex-offenders who often used to give other men compliments on their clothes or hair. Given there was a high level of testosterone among the user group you might have thought hackles would rise, but he seemed so guileless that he was mostly met with bafflement.
I do pay other women compliments but I sometimes wonder how they’ll land. When I was abroad earlier this year, an American woman shouted, “Cute purse!” at me when I was carrying my favourite holiday handbag and I was so pleased.
RolloTreadway@davidnjoku@mastodon.world "Nice car, mate."
Is of course limited to situations where a car is present. But complimenting one's vehicle is widely accepted masculine behaviour. Probably because it is not only a compliment, but also says that the giver of the compliment is knowledgeable about cars, and thus A Proper Man.
David Njoku@james@jamesgallagher.social Fair enough. I sometimes wear an Arsenal top, but I don't follow football. I hate when strangers come up to me and say, "Great match last night!" cos I usually have no idea what the score was 🙂
David Njoku@kimlockhartga@beige.party You're right, that'll work
David Njoku@RolloTreadway@beige.party If it is my old banger I'd think they're taking the piss! 😂
David Njoku@purplepadma@beige.party I think people always react to compliments positively - as long as they don't think you're taking the mick or being creepy. Unfortunately the risk of seeming to take the mick is quite high with men, and the chance of sounding creepy is high when a man compliments a random woman.
Charlotte Walker@davidnjoku@mastodon.world I always worry women who know I’m bisexual will think I’m hitting on them
Charlotte Walker@davidnjoku@mastodon.world I always worry women who know I’m bisexual will think I’m hitting on them
David Njoku@purplepadma@beige.party Ah yes.
That's why straight men don't compliment other men. We're terrified they'll think we're hitting on them. 🙂
David Njoku@purplepadma@beige.party Ah yes.
That's why straight men don't compliment other men. We're terrified they'll think we're hitting on them. 🙂