Hoot_OS [v.31]@hootwheelz@blahaj.zone
From here, I've had further thoughts about spirituality and religion. What purpose would following a particular religion serve? Should I even bother searching for a religion that fits my beliefs, or should I stay a Satanic atheist? Rituals matter, we all do them, but do I need to make my rituals religious in nature? Or can I just let them be agnostic rituals?
Furthermore, if I was to believe in a higher power... who would that be? what would they ask from me? what would I be willing to give them in return? would I want a transactional god, or a giving god? would I want a god who sees my queerness, my genderfreakery, and say "YAS QUEEN SLAYYYYYYYY"?
I'm still a Satanic atheist. Even so, I still think back to that conversation. Not to mull over anything the Mormons said because they were well out of their depths with me, but to mull over the things i said. Would I be considered a eunuch? Would my desire for bottom surgery be seen as a sacrifice? A challenge I have overcome? Or would it be seen by my hypothetical god as a natural consequence of my innate state of being, my innate humanity, and celebrate that?
It makes me feel really nice to believe that the God I once feared was nothing to be afraid of at all.
Hoot_OS [v.31]@hootwheelz@blahaj.zone
The conversation ended amicably, and they walked away as I walked back into the house.
I never sought to change their minds, I only wanted to poke at my own. I was given an opportunity to ponder religion with religious folk, and use their responses as a railroad switch to push my train of thought into different directions and see what happens.
Nothing they said was really interesting to me, but the thoughts that sprang up in my mind were. Very much so.
Still a Satanic atheist, by the way. It was just fun to take an honest look at my own feelings about religion after having spent so long pushing it away and burying it.
And in a weird way, it felt like... closure. I'm not exactly sure why, but that's the feeling I'm getting.