Brutkey

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

If I had to describe my life in terms of music, I'd say it's one of those experimental musique concrète pieces where you don't know what it's about until it's over.

#introduction

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

So I made an extended version of my 'enlightenment poetry' translated into music. I felt that 8 minutes in that space wasn't long enough and I do feel it works much better as an hour. Although I feel a little silly now that I've been knocked out of peace literally right as I was uploading this video. I'm just glad it lasted long enough that I was able to complete this project.

Weird how on that morning I woke up contemplating suicide, and by the end of the day I was in a totally different headspace. The body has some strange ways of keeping one alive. The whole process reminds me of that short story by Dostoevsky, "The Dream of a Ridiculous Man."

It's not just the same 8 minutes on repeat, there's a larger overall form now. Frankly all I ever wanted was just to sit in the resonant bass but I conveyed the motion of thoughts gradually reducing in frequency of occurrence too. Like the lattice over the light slowly widening. It's more accurate to my experience anyway, I did not have a complete cessation of thought. Cloudy days still.

https://youtu.be/G0CQdvOSH94

#music #meditation #ambient #drone #dronemusic #minimal #spirituality

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

Earlier I was contemplating how I didn't live in a country where I was constantly having to check my shoes for deadly critters and how relieving that was considering my great fear of spiders. A couple of hours later, I put on my slippers and right before I put my whole foot down I feel like there's something there, and it's a bloody giant house spider that bit me before scurrying off. At least I didn't kill it, that would have sucked, but perhaps I just died in a different instance.

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

I made something new,
Rooted in the earth.
Mind tumbles across shining potentiality.

https://soundcloud.com/vesperys/le-point-vierge

#ambient #music #fedimusic #mastomusic #spirituality #drone #meditation

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

Sanbo Kyodan lineage koan:

In the Sea of Ise, ten thousand feet down, lies a Stone.
I wish to pick up that stone without wetting my hands.
On the stone a name is inscribed. What is the name?
On one side of the name it reads, “Cannot get wet.”
On the other side of the name it reads, “Cannot get dry.”

#zen

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

There's a child within me that hasn't stopped crying and screaming for decades. Today, we listened to Coptic liturgical music, and she started to smile and clap her hands, while tears of relief streamed down my face. I was finally able to die, released from the "brutality of the will". I thought I knew myself, but today, the truth set us free, because I wanted to find it.

I don't know about this whole God thing, I can see how personification seems irrelevant to the experience. It's beyond concept and image however we might need to use both to try to communicate it. Music cuts right to the heart of it.

"At the center of our being there is a point of nothingness." - Thomas Merton

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHLm_1Dv-zs&list=PL1A004ADE9505EBE4

#music #musicdiscovery #spirituality #historicalmusic #history #christianity #religion

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

"“The well-adjusted person is thus one who conceals his violent impulses and condones the collective’s concealment of them. The “maladjusted” individual cannot tolerate this concealment. “Mental illness” and rebellion, like the sacrificial crisis they resemble, commit the individual to falsehoods and to forms of violence that are certainly more damaging to him than the disguised violence channeled through sacrificial rites, but that bring him closer to the heart of the enigma. Many psychic catastrophes misunderstood by the psychoanalyst result from an inchoate, obstinate reaction against the violence and falsehood found in any human society.”

― René Girard, Violence and the Sacred

#ambient #ambientblackmetal #avantgarde #cinematic #darkambient #drone #experimental #neoclassical #noise #occult #powerambient #ritual #soundscape #musodon #fedimusic #music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CN0sEpGdCk

Vesperys
@vesperys@mementomori.social

If I had to describe my life in terms of music, I'd say it's one of those experimental musique concrète pieces where you don't know what it's about until it's over.

#introduction