Brutkey

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Website: Your browser is unsupported.

Me: Gosh. I've never stopped to consider if my browser feels valued by me. That ends today.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Is it time for men's silk blouses to make a comeback yet? These are taking up a lot of space in my closet.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Please, sir. My oils. They're essential.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

I just got a notification from Google saying Welcome to Gemini! and I swear I'm this fucking close to joining the nearest Amish sect.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

I renamed all my security cameras, so now I get notifications like "Motion Detected at Your Butthole".

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

There should be an option to make your Roomba swear when it bumps into things.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Activity Pub? Like, there's coloring books and shit to do while you drink? I'm in.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Give a man a fish and he'll probably cook it in the break room microwave.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

I know my phone has more computing power than what got us to the moon. But, if autocorrect was piloting that spacecraft, there'd be three corpses halfway to Alpha Centauri right now.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Mastodon! I came for the social interaction, but I stayed anyway.