Brutkey

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Let's be honest. Boosting toots is consistently in the top 3 things you'll do on any given day.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

There should be an option to make your Roomba swear when it bumps into things.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Give a man a fish and he'll probably cook it in the break room microwave.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Mastodon! I came for the social interaction, but I stayed anyway.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

I know my phone has more computing power than what got us to the moon. But, if autocorrect was piloting that spacecraft, there'd be three corpses halfway to Alpha Centauri right now.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

The hills have eyes. The mountains have ears. That valley? It's got a sweet ass.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

My posts can be very thought provoking. For example, you might read something of mine and find yourself thinking "this guy is a moron".

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Waylon-Yutani duo singing about xenomorphs being good ol' boys never meanin' no harm.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Tomorrow's still Monday? I thought we fixed the clocks so that wouldn't happen. This is horseshit.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Look, it was me. I kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. Not enough? I'm D.B. Cooper. I'm also the Zodiac Killer. Just make the KPop Demon Hunters music stop.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Ohhhh, Donner Party. See, I thought you said Bonner Party, then I was giggling because boner party and now I've completely forgotten your name.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

A bakery called Another One Bites the Crust.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Give a man a boost, you give him dopamine for a day. Teach a man to shitpost, he'll have dopamine for life.

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

Can you direct me to the sorta virgin olive oil?

Staff Chief of Joints
@the_etrain@beige.party

What other organs are achy breaky?