Brutkey

Low Quality Facts
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
Low Quality Facts
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social
Low Quality Facts
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social

I still regret not getting a souvenir to commemorate the time I fell into the Grand Canyon, obliterating all of my bones and organs on impact.

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Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Yellowstone Patch. 30 years from now you won't want to look back and say "It was such a special moment when I dissolved in the Yellowstone hot spring. I wish I had gotten something to commemorate that."
https://collabs.shop/rquw6t

A circular embroidered patch with a blue background and border. At the center, a skeletal hand reaches out from a colorful, steaming hot spring depicted in shades of orange, yellow, and blue. A brown banner above the spring reads, "I DISSOLVED IN THE YELLOWSTONE HOT SPRING" in white capital letters.
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Now I'm sad too.

In 1929 it was discovered that ducks only quack when they are sad, which led to the Great Depression.
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Amazon is laying off 16,000 employees to prioritize AI, which will bring innovative changes such as:

-Automatically purchase item if user looks at screen for more than 5 seconds.
-Make device loudly screech if user closes the app.
-Delivery drones will stalk user if they cancel Prime membership.

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@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social

Nutritionists say it's best to eat whole foods. So I am proud to unveil my new line of healthy protein bars that only contain one ingredient: Highly processed gunk.

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More films should do this.

The 1985 film Clue was released in theaters with 80,00 different endings so the audience wouldn't know who the real killer was.
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I am also a fan of this one, which is both a romantic gesture and a threat.
https://collabs.shop/sdufhh

An illustrative Valentine's Day card with a gothic aesthetic featuring a hand-drawn voodoo doll with a pin through a red heart on its chest. The card displays the text "Be Mine" in red gothic calligraphy and is set against a romantic backdrop of red roses, white baby's breath, and a lit candle.
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Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for these Witchy Valentine's Day Cards. Valentine's Day is the perfect opportunity to learn more about your partner. For example, if you give them this card and they say "Oh, I actually support the Salem Witch Trials" that is a major red flag.
https://collabs.shop/sdufhh

An illustration of a small, smiling cat wearing a witch hat, sitting in the center of a pentagram surrounded by five lit candles. The card features Gothic-style text that reads "Let's Get Familiar" and "The Pickety Witch," decorated with spiderwebs, hearts, and floral vines. The card is resting on a background of red roses and fabric.
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@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social

I can't wait.

Scientists hypothesize that the human hand will evolve over time until it is essentially an oven mitt.