@jasmine@chaosfem.tw
try me
(cw chocolate)
@jasmine@chaosfem.tw
try me
try me
(cw chocolate)
try me
try me
try me
(cw chocolate)
try me
[eye contact]
try me
Here's some music I made. I'm pinning this and will update it if I publish more. I'll try naming the genresβbut I kind of consider all of it to be nu jazz.
Cipherlove, jazz fusion pastiche
March, nu jazz
Uphill (unfinished), cinematic/orchestral
Calling the Kettle Black, nu jazz
take 4 (cover), bitpop
Newborn (cover), jazz
Improvisation, free improvisation
GΓ₯nglΓ₯t, composition etude, Swedish folk
My important trans threads!
These three were pinned individually before, but I want to pin other things too, so I'm linking them instead now.The quote that made me accept myself
βFighting the world as your authentic self is better than fighting yourself on behalf of the world.βOn trans joy as the solution
Trans people deserve to start out from a place of joy.Transitioning is an act of radical self-love
Transitioning is an act of loving yourself because it presupposes that you accept yourself and decide to let yourself blossom, and it is radical because your whole life has taught you not to do it.1/
try me
[eye contact]
try me
[eye contact]
July, 23 months. Time's running out on dealing with the eviction thingβbut I actually manage to fix it. β
οΈ
Slowly beginning to get into better shape again, with lots of walking and healthier eating. Feeling more playful again after replacing much of the impending doom with rest. (So much rest.)
No matter how little exercise I got, I always had a very muscular build. There are pictures from my yeti couch potato days, when all I ever did was eat unhealthy food and sit at the computer, and I still look really strong. It's just the way my body is, whether on testosterone or not. It's been stressful because of the dysphoriaβbut this month was when HRT had finally changed me enough that I could begin appreciating it.
This is actually the first time I've been able to appreciate my own body at all, ever!
August, 2 years! I started walking for several hours per day, for both my mental and physical health.
There are so many mornings now when I wake up, put on my old worn out glasses, go to the bathroom and see a girl in the mirror. It's so joyful! Even if it's still sometimes confusing after so many years thinking that this was impossible. It clearly isn't though. π₯°![]()
June, 22 months. Had a close call and almost got evicted by the end of May, and the month that followed was pretty frustrating. Spent a lot of it in freeze mode with my mental health kind of deteriorating.
July, 23 months. Time's running out on dealing with the eviction thingβbut I actually manage to fix it. β
οΈ
Slowly beginning to get into better shape again, with lots of walking and healthier eating. Feeling more playful again after replacing much of the impending doom with rest. (So much rest.)
No matter how little exercise I got, I always had a very muscular build. There are pictures from my yeti couch potato days, when all I ever did was eat unhealthy food and sit at the computer, and I still look really strong. It's just the way my body is, whether on testosterone or not. It's been stressful because of the dysphoriaβbut this month was when HRT had finally changed me enough that I could begin appreciating it.
This is actually the first time I've been able to appreciate my own body at all, ever!
May, 21 months. I turned 41 years old! There was work training, but now at a car wash. And I almost reached my pre-transition weight again, which unfortunately made most of my clothes impossible to wear.
June, 22 months. Had a close call and almost got evicted by the end of May, and the month that followed was pretty frustrating. Spent a lot of it in freeze mode with my mental health kind of deteriorating.
April: 20 months of HRT.
Continuing to improve my makeup skills. I started a new work training programme! Worked at a cafe the first week and had to stuff my hair into this little cap while wearing a workplace uniform. That was really scary, because my gender presentation now had to rely entirely on makeup, voice and the way I moved, while I simultaneously started using the women's locker room.
But I made it! The staff at this place clearly had a strategy in place to make me feel safe. I only really got misgendered by three people (out of dozens and dozens of other programmes participants) and the staff meticulously corrected them each time, sometimes even inserting themselves into conversations just to gender me correctly in front of people who didn't "get it".
This was my first experience with meeting new people after fully transitioning socially 8 months earlier. The confidence boost I got was huge! π₯°![]()
May, 21 months. I turned 41 years old! There was work training, but now at a car wash. And I almost reached my pre-transition weight again, which unfortunately made most of my clothes impossible to wear.