Fesshole 🧻
Fesshole 🧻My son has just been 'sextorted' via an account on an app called Wizz. I've never heard of Wizz. I trusted my son to make good decisions. It looks like I forgot the verify part of trust and verify. This had been pretty awful. Parents, check in and with your children.
Fesshole 🧻We have a photo on the wall of us on our wedding day. Two weeks ago I replaced it with a photo of Ronnie Corbett. No one has noticed.
Fesshole 🧻Worked at the reception of a big firm. A button under the desk could stop the turnstiles. If the person looked a jerk we'd sometime press it to make them come and ask nicely to be let in. If they were hot, well I'm not proud of my actions but that's how I met my partner.
Fesshole 🧻Checking out of an Airbnb, I realised I still had a spare key. Drunk, I decided to return it that night by unlocking the door to drop it inside. The current guests slammed it shut. I ran. Found out the next day the police were called and the guests cancelled their weeks stay
Fesshole 🧻My wife started photoshopping our family holiday pictures a few years ago to make us look in better shape, and now in our most recent holiday pics I have a sculpted body of a man half my age and I look ridiculous. I am complicit in the lie.
Fesshole 🧻Mr Kipling is a wanker, I opened a box of his individually wrapped cakes and one thing led to another and now there's two empty share boxes in the bin. He's an absolute cunt for making exceedingly good cakes, no wonder I'm fat
Fesshole 🧻Mini pork pies are my Achilles heel, I have just eaten a whole fridge pack of 12, now I need to buy 12 more before the wife finds out and calls out my savage fridge raiding ways
Fesshole 🧻Pissed of with people microwaving stinky food at work, i left some dog meat microwaving in there as revenge, instead the whole office were remarking how nice it smelt and wondered whose it was as it was left unclaimed when pinged. People really do eat some vile food.
Fesshole 🧻Because of the new UK online safety rules I'm going to have to show my 80 year old Dad how to access porn again. Had to show him incognito mode under the guise of hiding his online shopping for mum's birthday. How am I going to teach him about VPNs without mentioning the p word?
Fesshole 🧻If a previous occupant forgets to sign out of YouTube on a hotel TV I'll spend a happy half hour searching for weird stuff to mess up their algorithm and make their family wonder. Not porn; stuff like 'how to get away with an affair' or 'do hammers smell?'