Notes | Brutkey

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

A NEW POETRY SHOW FOR 2026 … HOW TO LAY AN EGG WITH A HORSE INSIDE

I’m heading off on tour next year with a new show, based on my forthcoming book ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.

The tour starts in Sept. Tickets are now on sale at most venues.

Details here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A poster for my Autumn 2026 Tour, ‘How to Lay an Egg with a Horse Inside’.
It features me, my late cat and a list of my tour dates:

23-Sep Monmouth
24-Sep Aberystwyth
25-Sep Cardigan
26-Sep Winchester
27-Sep Guildford
30-Sep Harpenden
01-Oct Coventry
02-Oct Darwen
04-Oct Malton
07-Oct Croydon
08-Oct Deal
09-Oct Norwich
10-Oct Colchester
14-Oct Loughborough
15-Oct Manchester
16-Oct Ulverston
21-Oct Kidderminster
22-Oct Glasgow
23-Oct Aberdeen
24-Oct Stirling
28-Oct Stamford
29-Oct Bury St Edmonds
30-Oct Corsham
31-Oct Oxford
04-Nov Worthing
06-Nov Bellaghy
11-Nov Leeds
12-Nov Sunderland
13-Nov Helmsley
14-Nov Pocklington
15-Nov Sheffield
19-Nov Stroud
20-Nov Bridport
21-Nov Exeter
22-Nov Bude
25-Nov Newark
26-Nov Bakewell
27-Nov Chorley
28-Nov Liverpool
30-Nov Bristol
01-Dec Cardiff
04-Dec London

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

Annual reminder to water your Christmas tree poems …

This poem is written in the shape of a Christmas tree (well, most of it is) …

Needles

I
wrote
a poem
in the shape
of a Christmas
tree but then forgot
to water it and only a few
days
later

[but the words beyond this point are scattered around the bottom of the page, like needles which have fallen from a Xmas tree)

there
were
words
all
over
the
carpet

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

This poem is dedicated to anyone making a start on their advent calendar today.

The Good Old Days

Pity the poor children
of today, with their calendars
stuffed with chocolates,

never to know the thrill
of opening a small cardboard door
and discovering behind it

a picture of a bell.

Brian Bilston

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

It’s World Philosophy Day today so here’s a poem in celebration of that.

Nihilism Means Nothing to Me

Hegel, when you left me,
you put me through the mill.
I kant think clearly anymore –
your marx are on me still.

The hobbestacles are everywhere.
Unlocke your door and be my guide.
Life is dull when you’re not arendt,
I nietzsche by my side.

You said I bourdieu senseless.
You claimed I drove you nuts.
But I adorno other –
My head spinoza much

The rawls of love I just don’t get,
I don’t know where to sartre.
I plato win but always lose –
come back, exhume my heartre.

Brian Bilston

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

I’ll be reading poems at a few festivals over the coming months, including Beautiful Days on Saturday. That’s sold out but there are tickets available for:

23 Aug: WORDS AND MUSIC, Rolvenden Layne, Kent
24 Sep: JERSEY FESTIVAL OF WORDS, Freedom Centre, Jersey
27 Sep: MARLBOROUGH LITFEST, Marlborough College Memorial Hall, Wiltshire
11 Oct: BEWDLEY FESTIVAL, St Georges, Bewdley, Worcestershire

If you fancy coming along to one of these, you can find more info here: https://brianbilston.com/events/

A poster for Bewdley Festival, which runs from 10th to 25 October and features amongst others Jonathan Coe, Ria Lina and Adrian Goldberg.

A poster for Words and Music, 23 August 2025 in Rolvenden Layne in Kent. Starts at 2pm. Includes fab music from the likes of European Sun, Fay Hallam and Sassyhiya.

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

Here’s a poem called ‘Neither Rhyme nor Reason’.

Neither Rhyme Nor Reason

To make poems rhyme can sometimes be tough
as words can seem to be from the same bough,
yet each line’s ending sounds different, though,
best covered up with a hiccough or cough.

Was this upsetting to Byron or Yeats?
Dickinson, Wordsworth, Larkin or Keats?
Did they see these words as auditory threats?
Could they write their lines without caveats?

What does it matter when all’s said and done
if you read this as scone when I meant scone?
It’s hardly a crime. There’s no need to atone:
language is a bowl of thick minestrone.

So mumble these endings into your beard –
this poem should be seen, rather than heard.

Brian Bilston

Brian Bilston
@brianbilston@mastodon.online

A short passive-aggressive poem, written on an aeroplane.

Plane Verse
Dedicated to the passenger in front of me

when
you
    recline
      your
        seat,
          it is difficult
          for me to eat

Brian Bilston