Notes | Brutkey

"In China, driverless delivery vans have become a total meme, they plow through crumbling roads, fresh concrete, motorcycles, anything. Nothing stops them."

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

It's Chriiiiiiistmas nearly. And so I've been looking at prime ministers Christmas cards! 😍

OG and still the best. Tony Blair and wife Cherie pose in a way meant to convey warmth and friendliness but instead comes across as menacing. Tony looks like he'll have you. Cherie's in a nice red frock and he's in a blue suit with light blue shirt (open collar). They look like they have unlimited money and make decisions with far reaching consequences based on no evidence.

Kier Starmer and wife (he is really punching) clapping for some reason (I assume the NHS or free clothes or possibly for Reform). He has blue suit and light blue shirt (no tie) and she is wearing a detective coat and is fit. He has a face that doesn't seem natural to smile. He has a face that suggests wasted potential. The face of a person who squandered the opportunity of a lifetime. She has the face of someone who wants out of that life and to have a brief but wild fling with some ordinary guy off the streets. Perhaps also with a massive amount of wasted potential. Perhaps the sort of person who fills his days writing stupid shit on the Internet.

Yes she was prime minister! Liz Truss. Here we see her as Roweley Birkin QC from the Fast Show. She's sat in what appears to be an exclusive racist gentleman's club. It definitely smells of cigars and cum. I'm not saying she does. She smells like salad and regret. She's wearing bank-wear and is sat in a highback leather seat with a large mirror and traditional clock on a fireplace behind her with Christmas lights and fancy gold detailing and a marble fireplace bit at the front. To one side is one of those comically large flags that look like they're designed for visually impaired people (IT'S A UNION JACK) and on the other side, one of those globe drinks cabinets that's a little too on the nose - English person with enormous privilege stashing booze inside a facsimile of the world. It's mine and I'll use it however I please.

Boris Johnson did do a card. Dressed as Santa up a tree. But this image of him toasting a room full of people in close proximity having an all expenses paid boozy Christmas party at the height of the governments response to Covid, where people suffered and died alone but Boris and pals carried on worse than ever. Suitcases full of booze, cocaine on the toilet cisterns. Having a right old laugh. Being rewarded handsomely. What really truly genuinely terrible awful horrible people. Cartoonishly evil. I wish them and theirs all the absolute worst. May they be properly rewarded for their crimes against humanity. If there was any justice some really terrifically bad things would happen to all of them. Outlandishly bad. Stephen King levels of weird. There was a film called Pandorum with Dennis Quaid and Ben something. And when one of the astronauts awakes from cryosleep he falls down a tube headfirst with arms by his side and gets jammed in there upside down at the end of a long thin tube with no way out or way of moving. That's the most terrifying thing I can imagine. Worse even somehow than the Amigara Fault. And when I think about what these people took from us, from our humanity, with such cavalier disregard and carelessness for the sanctity of life, I think tube the lot of them. I'm not over it. Not by a long shot. It burns.

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Is it just me, or does the Tusky avatar look absolutely off its tits?

Cartoon mammoth with a little blue speech bubble. Eyes like fucking saucers. Like it's done a handful of disco biscuits and doesn't know what planet it's on. You play some rhythmic music and that horny old elephant is going to throw some serious shapes.

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Keep it light mate

Wellness Wednesday

Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Fear, loathing, Las Vegas, depression, acceptance

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

I'm ahead of you all and am already celebrating Christmas 2026

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

The Beatles crashed my Linux

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

There are some weird people on LinkedIn. We're supposed to believe that we're the weirdos and they're the normo's, but I guarantee you're stuck on a desert island with Fedi's and it's fuckn paradise on earth, albeit extremely kooky. But stuck on a desert island with those LinkedIn monsters..... you'd better sleep with one eye open. Immediate devolution into incoherent cannibalistic chaos. Every person for themselves trying to climb to the top of the growing mountain of skulls. Language no longer exists - just tattered suit-wearing animals gutterally shrieking I HOPE YOU'RE WELL! KIND REGARDS! Over on Fedi Island, a couple of neighbours have disagreed on whether coffee or tea is supreme, but they've realised it's subjective and decided to respect each others perspectives and have got together to throw a little party to celebrate both coffee and tea enjoyers (although there is still one berk sat in the corner grumbling that if you like tea it means you hate women). The Linux people have invented an unnecessarily complicated method for catching wildlife, but it keeps them happy and busy. Just pulleys and weights and springs going boing, but it mostly works. The wildlife of course not for food, but to assist in identifying edible plants and mushrooms and verdant areas for growing crops. However what's that our lookout can see?! A boat. Coming from LinkedIn island. The alarm is sounded but we are not prepared.....

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Drink some water you slags x

Not Ben
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

With all of the water used to cool computer related stuff damaging the planet, can't we just throw it all into outer space. It's well cold out there.

Please can someone pay me one million pounds for this and other insights.