π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
From my email archives...
A travelling salesman visits a small town sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!"
Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts: animals, clowns, contortionists, etc. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the centre ring. There, in the middle of the ring, is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old man, five feet five inches tall, and barely able to walk to the table. He unzips his pants, whips out an impressive, prodigious member, grabs it in his hand, and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in thunderous applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.
Ten years later, the same salesman visits the same little town and sees the same circus being advertised with the same (now faded) banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!" Our friend the salesman can't believe the old guy is still alive, much less still doing his act!! So, he buys a ticket and sits through the various acts, waiting for the big finale. Finally, the centre ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are on the table. As before, the now older Goldstein takes forever to make it to the table. He unzips his fly and proceeds to smash the coconuts with three swings of his amazing unit. The crowd goes wild!
The salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. In Goldstein's dressing room, the salesman tells him he's never seen anything like Goldstein's act. But, he wants to know why Goldstein, at his age, is now smashing large coconuts instead of the much smaller walnuts.
"Vell," says Goldstein, wearily, "My eyes aren't vhat they used to be!"
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
Our first AV software (25 years ago) had an issue with itself one day!! Reminds of when (maybe 15 years ago) Sophos update flagged itself as a virus. That was a real shitstorm for our corp network π±
At the time, it was NOT easy to uninstall Sophos.
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
Dear Corporate Management, a word in your shell-like...
"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams, we would be re-organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising; and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation."
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
Assuming my 'source' isn't hallucinating:
"The actual author is Charlton Ogburn Jr., who wrote it in his Harperβs Magazine article βMerrillβs Marauders: The Truth about an Incredible Adventureβ (January 1957)
quoteinvestigator.com
The Quotations Page
wist.info
He later rephrased it in his 1959 book The Marauders, saying something like:
βPerhaps because Americans as a nation have a gift for organizing β¦ a wonderful method it is for creating the illusion of progress at a mere cost of confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.β"
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
Dear Corporate Management, a word in your shell-like...
"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form into teams, we would be re-organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising; and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation."
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
It might be an arthouse epic, I don't know because I'm a pleb.
But my boredom factor with a flick is directly proportional to the number of famous actors crammed into the cast. And even more tightly correlated with the number of executive producers.
These productions might be more interesting if they used unknown faces rather than drawcards.
#film #movies
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
From the archives.
Guess we humans shouldn't be too surprised when #AI does crazy shit.
This is on us:
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
Re previous:
Government media release: A recreational pendulum is to be installed following an environmental impact study, and community consultation.
Media news story: Investigations have revealed a $300,000 swing is to be removed because it breaches public safety rules.
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
From the archives.
Guess we humans shouldn't be too surprised when #AI does crazy shit.
This is on us:
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
It's not that IT folk had too much time on their hands. This was the only way to stay sane.
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Dear Help Desk,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. Please help!
--Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3.
--Help Desk
π³ππππ’ π΅ππππ πππ@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange
"Engineers" - especially maintenance types - are always cynical smartarses. Detect a trace of resentment towards arrogant pilots.
This from 22 years ago.
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Airline maintenance complaints and problems are known as "squawks". The following are claimed to be QANTAS squawks, as reported by pilots.
P = the problem logged by the pilot and resolved by maintenance engineers
S = the solution and action taken by the engineers).
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for!
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed