Brutkey

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

Airbnb: You've put the towels in the laundry basket, but the dedicated towel laundry bakest! That one's sky blue! I found crumbs behind the bed, you were supposed to vacuum the place! The recycling was supposed to go on the left of the gate, not the right! I don't care if they don't have numbers, you're supposed to park in front of garage 12! How dare you treat my fourth house with such contempt!

Hotels: I see you've shat in the kettle. Excellent choice, sir.

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

Here is my rebuttal to Russell Brand's 'magic amulet' using a quantum mechanics textbook. 👍

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

The student approached the Master and said "He wants to put a million people on Mars by 2040! That's so amazing!"

The Master replied. "I have a better plan. I will put a million people on Antarctica by 2040."

"But that sounds fucking insane. Why would you want to do something that stupid? It's a barren wasteland that's difficult to populate and would provide us with absolutely nothing!"

At that moment, the student was enlightened.

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

"Error: Your password must contain at least two characters who talk to each other about something other than a man."

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

The Void is experiencing extremely high call volumes right now. Please hold. Your screaming is very important to us.

Schrödinger's Prat
@Rhodium103@mastodon.social

It's always "you need to build up a tolerance to crop failures" and never "billionaires should build up a tolerance to not having yachts".