I thought long and hard about it. 
Instead of me going to work, you should take me in, feed me
, pet me
, cuddle me
, and give me a place to sleep. 
In return, I will meow for you and remind you to feed me, pet me, cuddle me, and give me a place to sleep. It's a win-win situation. 
Open Immediately!!! | Very Important PSA :neocat_notice:
⬅
️ This catboy has just entered your home and is on his way to your fridge. 
After eating everything, he will take a nap in your bed. Do not interfere! He will bite you! 
Also, if you have any pets, be aware that they will be cuddled thoroughly. 
If you're at home, be prepared to be hugged and cuddled, too. 
Thank you for your cooperation! 