Why do I love fedi?
I was raised in a time before the internet. I was a Nerd. A nerd is a geek that can actually get a girl. That meant I read a lot and was quite an intellectual. Marxism, Herbert whatever so long as it was there. That meant I rubbed up against a lot of other leftist groups.
I had a friend that was expelled for bein anti-establishment. He would play his guitar, smoke weed, and rebel against the system. We'd talk theory and about the ills of society.
I had another friend who was part of the Chess club and Gymnastics club. I'm convinced he had severe ADHD. There was a time he was circling me on a unicycle, juggling bowling pins screaming about how my dad ( a physician ) had touched his balls ( a routine checkup ). He was the kid I learned the word chode from and about Badger Badger. He was a keen strategist and a pro at disruption.
I had another friend who dated one of my exes ( think of her as a greenpeace advocate ). He was another against rules and establishment. When we graduated he tried to marry my ex, her parents refused. He bailed her out a window, eloped, and they built a farm and are environmental pro-lgbt advocates.
I had plenty of other friends, nerds like myself, sociopaths that had to mentally quantify morality. And while this might sound like a setup for the perfect heist, this is what leftism was. This is what activism is. We were a motley band that would never do well on an algorithm. Our goal was to convince others of our point of view without getting punched or expelled. I even watched a wiccan get sent to detention for protesting Afghanistan by sitting through the pledge of allegiance. We were rebels, but we weren't reactionaries.
These other leftist, reactionary, purity culture seeking leftists existed but were rather isolated. Their points of view do absolutely well on Facebook and tiktok but they don't do well here. My unicycling juggling friend had a better understanding that disrupting fascists and bad conversation was easier by yelling "You're such a chode!" then playing purity politics ever would.
Fedi feels like that. It's more patient and caring and approachable community and less purtiy driven fanatascism. And sometimes I might even get slapped by a rubber chicken when someone asks me in what kind of seat pilots sits in?
A: "a COCK pit!"
#fedi #leftism
I had someone ask about my introduction into Punk and Metal and I had to honestly answer, my sister. When we were young we weren't allowed heavy music or anything not christian or violent video games. My sister, however, did not have a lot of fucks to give.
When she got her driver's license the radio was free. As part of her deal with my parents and having a car she got a job. She was a server. They tried to implement rules on her funds but as she was already at an age where their rules did not apply she gave them the law and the finger.
Thus led to my introduction of the now tame Led Zepplin, Godsmack, Rod Zombie, etc etc. When my parents forbade Mortal Combat she went to Blockbuster, when asked for ID, provided it and came back home. Sat me and my brother in front of the N64 and watched my parents come through the door.
She also spent her highschool in a trenchcoat and spikes and eating out her girlfriends. It's just sad that she biphobiad so hard she forgot. That she grew up into a conservative TERf and now vents that jealousy on me as the girl that got to live her life when there's nothing stopping her.
Just turns out I am infinitely more stubborn, just not as loud so now I'm still a punk, my coming out is celebrated and turned my conservative mother into a LGBT activist, and she's just a jealous conservative TERf, but I can't say I started this path without her aid and her as a role model. Regardless of what became of her.
#growingup #growth #punk #metal #lgbt
My life and relationship feels like it shouldn’t exist outside of a romance movie. One where you go “ohhh it’s so cute but this doesn’t happen to real people”. Let me explain.
In 2019 I had a close brush with death. I told him no, you can’t have me and quit alcohol cold turkey that day. I don’t remember the next two weeks. Rather a blur of withdrawal and pain. A week afterwards I joined a Discord Community because I needed something to help me get by. I’d lost my friend-the bottle-and needed actual person friends.
It was there I met Her. We started in a mock flirt battle over Java vs C++. The next day a joking battle about the effectiveness of a Katana vs the European longsword. I thought to myself, “She’s really hot, wait is she flirting with me?”. She asked if she could DM me. We exchanged pictures. She asked if we could be friends on FB. Then a week after meeting each other I thought to myself “She seems great. I don’t really know her. Maybe I should ask her out. If it’s a fling it’s a fling but I’d rather try than let her slip through my fingers”. She said “yes”.
It went really well. We fit each other like a glove. I thought maybe we could see eachother during an Eclipse in Iceland in 2025. Just gal pals in a jakoozi. Being real gay during an eclipse. At about 6 months we decided maybe I should move to Germany instead. It felt weird. This was so much of what I wanted. What I NEEDED to get out of the US. With someone that understood and listened to me. Respected me even in argument.
Well we had a plane flight but then within 72 hours the borders slammed shut. Covid-19 and the American response was a joke. Nobody had interest to let us in. I was homeless, jobless, I’d sold my car. This felt like what my life was. This felt like this is all it could ever be. Long Story short some friends let me stay at their place for a year and then about a year later the date came again.
I sat there waiting for my connection in Texas, thinking this isn’t how reality works. This is how sappy romance movies work. Somehow there will be a problem with my passport. Somehow I’ll be sent home and even if I make it over, I betcha I won’t get a job in under three months or Tally will hate me or something. Then I’ll go home. I got on the plane no issues after trying to speak German with a German lady. 17 hours later, I landed in Frankfurt International Airport. I was like “… customs has to stop me. This can’t be. This is a movie. This is not my life.” Customs did not stop me. They just said “Dankeschön. Schönen Tag noch. WEITER!”
Well she was wonderful. Then I got several interviews. The second one I received exactly at the three month cutoff of my Short Stay Visa. Then I was like “I can’t learn German. Something will go wrong with integration or something. This still can’t be”. The person that interviewed me was so impressed by my A1 in German just from working that she literally called around until she could shortcut me in the waiting list for German courses in the best school with the best rated teacher in the area.
I passed both my Leben in Deutschland ( A test about politics, history, law and Culture of Germany ) and Deutsch-Test für Zuwandern (Scoring a B1 German profficiency ) with a 1, “Sehr guter Erfolg”, basically an A+ back in the states. Then I tried to leave a shit job and got into a job that is so famous around these parts that Germans still congratulate me. It’s a very prestigious restaurant.
About the same time Tally and I passed the one year mark of living together and decided to get married. We were only not dating for 1 week of our 4 years together. So many people have looked at us and said “goals”. But like I am still dumbfounded. This is something you see in Hallmark movies. This doesn’t happen in real life. But it does. This wonderful thing to have happened to me sleeps like a little spoon with me every night. #romance #immigrantlife #transjoy #lgbt #storybookending
With @thatfrisiangirlish
History time and getting to know me a little better. Today I answer “What radicalized me/Why am I a #leftist ?”. I am old enough to remember the USSR being mentioned as an active entity. So when September 11th happened I was already 14. I remember it very very clearly. I also remember watching as the actions of one terrorist cell resulted in watching missiles drop all over Afghanistan. One man and America pays him back with destruction of a country he’s not even in. This was not that moment.
I was sitting on a trampoline with my best friend. We’ve known eachother now for over 20 years. He came out of the closet about a year before I did. It was sundown and I made some support of Bush Jr that my parents had told me and his immediate reply was “Bush is an idiot”. NOBODY that was ANYBODY in my family questioned a Republican. Democrats were the antichrist and Republicans were our only saviors in a world full of sin. Or so my family said.
I’d watched as America started calling French Fries and French Toast “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast”. I’d watched as Mosques burned and was confused by this “unity” they spoke of. All I saw was racism and Islamaphobia. I saw the destruction of cultures that the USA had propped up. Watched the mounting deaths of thousands of innocents. I’d been disturbed but my family had always comforted us with propaganda and Christo-fascist lies that are so easy to see through with any logic at all. The answer was simple. No work arounds or ridiculous logic required. The far-right are a problem and all it took was permission to see reality for what it was.
I was an anarchist at first then a communist but by the time I was 18 I was a socialist. I have remained there now for about 17 years. I’ve seen all matter of fucked up since. I was a TA and we had a big ol meeting because a white christian male student looked a Muslim woman in the eye and said to his friends “I wonder what it would feel like to strangle a [Muslim woman] with my bare hands”.
And if my friend had not given me permission to feel like I do now I might still be like my parents who needed a year to find out if they would accept a queer kid in their family. It took them not being able to deal with the amount of recommendations from other church goers of what they would do to make sure their daughter would be their son. They were so tired of recommendations of abuse and cruelty of the most loving child they actually raised that my mother texted me weeping, asking how I make it through every day when she can barely go to church anymore for the hate.
My life changed on that trampoline. Two queers madly in love and unable to admit it until we were both much older talking about Leftism, politics and life. Giving me permission to feel and see reality for what it is instead of requiring propaganda and neoliberalism to justify my world view. Story time over. My Characters are about up. #leftism
A little bit of an #introduction. I am from #America but have been living in #Germany since August 2021. I am a #trans, #leftist, #bisexual, #polyamorous, #cook with severe #OCD and #insomnia.
I'm also engaged to a German woman-ish, a #gamer, #poet, and #artist. I love #reading and taking long walks in the European grey, murky darkness. My hobbies are actually much greater than the 24 hours a day I am given.
I promise I don't bite...without consent at least. So come say hi!
Why do I love fedi?
I was raised in a time before the internet. I was a Nerd. A nerd is a geek that can actually get a girl. That meant I read a lot and was quite an intellectual. Marxism, Herbert whatever so long as it was there. That meant I rubbed up against a lot of other leftist groups.
I had a friend that was expelled for bein anti-establishment. He would play his guitar, smoke weed, and rebel against the system. We'd talk theory and about the ills of society.
I had another friend who was part of the Chess club and Gymnastics club. I'm convinced he had severe ADHD. There was a time he was circling me on a unicycle, juggling bowling pins screaming about how my dad ( a physician ) had touched his balls ( a routine checkup ). He was the kid I learned the word chode from and about Badger Badger. He was a keen strategist and a pro at disruption.
I had another friend who dated one of my exes ( think of her as a greenpeace advocate ). He was another against rules and establishment. When we graduated he tried to marry my ex, her parents refused. He bailed her out a window, eloped, and they built a farm and are environmental pro-lgbt advocates.
I had plenty of other friends, nerds like myself, sociopaths that had to mentally quantify morality. And while this might sound like a setup for the perfect heist, this is what leftism was. This is what activism is. We were a motley band that would never do well on an algorithm. Our goal was to convince others of our point of view without getting punched or expelled. I even watched a wiccan get sent to detention for protesting Afghanistan by sitting through the pledge of allegiance. We were rebels, but we weren't reactionaries.
These other leftist, reactionary, purity culture seeking leftists existed but were rather isolated. Their points of view do absolutely well on Facebook and tiktok but they don't do well here. My unicycling juggling friend had a better understanding that disrupting fascists and bad conversation was easier by yelling "You're such a chode!" then playing purity politics ever would.
Fedi feels like that. It's more patient and caring and approachable community and less purtiy driven fanatascism. And sometimes I might even get slapped by a rubber chicken when someone asks me in what kind of seat pilots sits in?
A: "a COCK pit!"
#fedi #leftism
Hot Take: Labrador Retrievers are the Subaru Lesbian version of Golden Retrievers 🤔
🤔🤔
Lewd, Mass Effect
So I am playing Mass Effect 3 and I chose Ashley for reasons I am willing to talk about but are currently irrelevant. But she goes on the first mission, gets choked by a sex robot, and then thrown into a wall. Then later I take her to the Horny Jail of the Ardat-Yakshi. She gets grabbed by a banshee by the throat while I am standing right next to her and I say.
"Does she just have a more chokable neck than me? Why does she always get choked? I'm jealous."
#masseffect #gaming #bdsm
So today a German Classic, Currywurst, but I work in a German Restaurant. Gutbürgerlich, directly under fine dining, NOT in a Pommes Bude. I have a little more pride in my work than Cola and Curry Ketchup. I am a kitchen chef with no kitchen while I'm on vacation, but a rather hungry and appreciative German wife, @thatfrisiangirlish. Guten!
#cheflife
Homophobia, Transphobia
I've seen a lot of information the past couple of days about Trans Women coming out 10 years later than their counterparts. I want to be super transparent about the fact that AFAB queers receive discrimination. Trans men are often erased from conversation. These are all super important. I don't want to erase all of that. But I really do need to be allowed to talk about my experience.
I was talking to my bi guy best friend who came out the year before me in front ot the bi gal that came out the year before him. Talking about what we did to eachother, the cruelty, the homophobia because we were terrified, receiving constant bullying and we needed somewhere to put the stress. I remember weeping on my bed, holding eachother, as he and I apologized and forgave eachother. It was on eachother. She was, however, baffled.
Her family accepted her with open arms. My boy friend's father wept. Several of my family members tried to get me booted from my family. A couple of them succeeded.
I remember my trans boyfriend looking me in the eyes saying,
"Taylor, I want you to listen. I came out to my father. He knows I bring queers home. He told me if he ever found out I was dating a [ Trans woman ], he would kill her in front of me to prove a point. He cannot know about us."
The acronym of LGBT in every culture the G is the word for hatred of gay men in that area. LSBT here in Germany. In any heirarchy, criminals will be punished. The different will be ostracized, but understand this. In a made up religion like the Cis Hetero Patriarchy, if you intend to maintain the charade of normalcy, to prop up your made up reality-your clergy-you cannot allow a heretic to live.
#lgbt #bigotry
I had someone ask about my introduction into Punk and Metal and I had to honestly answer, my sister. When we were young we weren't allowed heavy music or anything not christian or violent video games. My sister, however, did not have a lot of fucks to give.
When she got her driver's license the radio was free. As part of her deal with my parents and having a car she got a job. She was a server. They tried to implement rules on her funds but as she was already at an age where their rules did not apply she gave them the law and the finger.
Thus led to my introduction of the now tame Led Zepplin, Godsmack, Rod Zombie, etc etc. When my parents forbade Mortal Combat she went to Blockbuster, when asked for ID, provided it and came back home. Sat me and my brother in front of the N64 and watched my parents come through the door.
She also spent her highschool in a trenchcoat and spikes and eating out her girlfriends. It's just sad that she biphobiad so hard she forgot. That she grew up into a conservative TERf and now vents that jealousy on me as the girl that got to live her life when there's nothing stopping her.
Just turns out I am infinitely more stubborn, just not as loud so now I'm still a punk, my coming out is celebrated and turned my conservative mother into a LGBT activist, and she's just a jealous conservative TERf, but I can't say I started this path without her aid and her as a role model. Regardless of what became of her.
#growingup #growth #punk #metal #lgbt
My life and relationship feels like it shouldn’t exist outside of a romance movie. One where you go “ohhh it’s so cute but this doesn’t happen to real people”. Let me explain.
In 2019 I had a close brush with death. I told him no, you can’t have me and quit alcohol cold turkey that day. I don’t remember the next two weeks. Rather a blur of withdrawal and pain. A week afterwards I joined a Discord Community because I needed something to help me get by. I’d lost my friend-the bottle-and needed actual person friends.
It was there I met Her. We started in a mock flirt battle over Java vs C++. The next day a joking battle about the effectiveness of a Katana vs the European longsword. I thought to myself, “She’s really hot, wait is she flirting with me?”. She asked if she could DM me. We exchanged pictures. She asked if we could be friends on FB. Then a week after meeting each other I thought to myself “She seems great. I don’t really know her. Maybe I should ask her out. If it’s a fling it’s a fling but I’d rather try than let her slip through my fingers”. She said “yes”.
It went really well. We fit each other like a glove. I thought maybe we could see eachother during an Eclipse in Iceland in 2025. Just gal pals in a jakoozi. Being real gay during an eclipse. At about 6 months we decided maybe I should move to Germany instead. It felt weird. This was so much of what I wanted. What I NEEDED to get out of the US. With someone that understood and listened to me. Respected me even in argument.
Well we had a plane flight but then within 72 hours the borders slammed shut. Covid-19 and the American response was a joke. Nobody had interest to let us in. I was homeless, jobless, I’d sold my car. This felt like what my life was. This felt like this is all it could ever be. Long Story short some friends let me stay at their place for a year and then about a year later the date came again.
I sat there waiting for my connection in Texas, thinking this isn’t how reality works. This is how sappy romance movies work. Somehow there will be a problem with my passport. Somehow I’ll be sent home and even if I make it over, I betcha I won’t get a job in under three months or Tally will hate me or something. Then I’ll go home. I got on the plane no issues after trying to speak German with a German lady. 17 hours later, I landed in Frankfurt International Airport. I was like “… customs has to stop me. This can’t be. This is a movie. This is not my life.” Customs did not stop me. They just said “Dankeschön. Schönen Tag noch. WEITER!”
Well she was wonderful. Then I got several interviews. The second one I received exactly at the three month cutoff of my Short Stay Visa. Then I was like “I can’t learn German. Something will go wrong with integration or something. This still can’t be”. The person that interviewed me was so impressed by my A1 in German just from working that she literally called around until she could shortcut me in the waiting list for German courses in the best school with the best rated teacher in the area.
I passed both my Leben in Deutschland ( A test about politics, history, law and Culture of Germany ) and Deutsch-Test für Zuwandern (Scoring a B1 German profficiency ) with a 1, “Sehr guter Erfolg”, basically an A+ back in the states. Then I tried to leave a shit job and got into a job that is so famous around these parts that Germans still congratulate me. It’s a very prestigious restaurant.
About the same time Tally and I passed the one year mark of living together and decided to get married. We were only not dating for 1 week of our 4 years together. So many people have looked at us and said “goals”. But like I am still dumbfounded. This is something you see in Hallmark movies. This doesn’t happen in real life. But it does. This wonderful thing to have happened to me sleeps like a little spoon with me every night. #romance #immigrantlife #transjoy #lgbt #storybookending
With @thatfrisiangirlish
History time and getting to know me a little better. Today I answer “What radicalized me/Why am I a #leftist ?”. I am old enough to remember the USSR being mentioned as an active entity. So when September 11th happened I was already 14. I remember it very very clearly. I also remember watching as the actions of one terrorist cell resulted in watching missiles drop all over Afghanistan. One man and America pays him back with destruction of a country he’s not even in. This was not that moment.
I was sitting on a trampoline with my best friend. We’ve known eachother now for over 20 years. He came out of the closet about a year before I did. It was sundown and I made some support of Bush Jr that my parents had told me and his immediate reply was “Bush is an idiot”. NOBODY that was ANYBODY in my family questioned a Republican. Democrats were the antichrist and Republicans were our only saviors in a world full of sin. Or so my family said.
I’d watched as America started calling French Fries and French Toast “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast”. I’d watched as Mosques burned and was confused by this “unity” they spoke of. All I saw was racism and Islamaphobia. I saw the destruction of cultures that the USA had propped up. Watched the mounting deaths of thousands of innocents. I’d been disturbed but my family had always comforted us with propaganda and Christo-fascist lies that are so easy to see through with any logic at all. The answer was simple. No work arounds or ridiculous logic required. The far-right are a problem and all it took was permission to see reality for what it was.
I was an anarchist at first then a communist but by the time I was 18 I was a socialist. I have remained there now for about 17 years. I’ve seen all matter of fucked up since. I was a TA and we had a big ol meeting because a white christian male student looked a Muslim woman in the eye and said to his friends “I wonder what it would feel like to strangle a [Muslim woman] with my bare hands”.
And if my friend had not given me permission to feel like I do now I might still be like my parents who needed a year to find out if they would accept a queer kid in their family. It took them not being able to deal with the amount of recommendations from other church goers of what they would do to make sure their daughter would be their son. They were so tired of recommendations of abuse and cruelty of the most loving child they actually raised that my mother texted me weeping, asking how I make it through every day when she can barely go to church anymore for the hate.
My life changed on that trampoline. Two queers madly in love and unable to admit it until we were both much older talking about Leftism, politics and life. Giving me permission to feel and see reality for what it is instead of requiring propaganda and neoliberalism to justify my world view. Story time over. My Characters are about up. #leftism
A little bit of an #introduction. I am from #America but have been living in #Germany since August 2021. I am a #trans, #leftist, #bisexual, #polyamorous, #cook with severe #OCD and #insomnia.
I'm also engaged to a German woman-ish, a #gamer, #poet, and #artist. I love #reading and taking long walks in the European grey, murky darkness. My hobbies are actually much greater than the 24 hours a day I am given.
I promise I don't bite...without consent at least. So come say hi!
Golden Retriever GF