Brutkey

Badgardener
@Badgardener@mountains.social

Account now mainly dormant, but feel free to PM if you need to contact me.

Definitely better than the devil sites, but dear gods you people need to learn how to be silly: yes, it’s all terrible - but have some grace under fire. This performative seriousness won’t sustain you.


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Badgardener
@Badgardener@mountains.social

So I’m currently landscaping the front garden of a friend (whose husband is ‘problematic’). It’s a MASSIVE job for a one-man band, and I’ve given her a low daily rate, no profit margin on materials and ten-hour days, and am frankly performing miracles for about half what it should cost, whilst destroying my knees.

So anyway, said husband collared me yesterday and, amongst other gems, told me that if he ‘felt’ that I was too expensive, he’d get someone else in to finish the job, or do it himself (this is a man who’d take three goes to work out which end to hold a hammer). By strange coincidence, his wife - my friend - went away on a break yesterday, so he obviously felt emboldened.

So I did what everybody should do when faced with a narcissist: totalled the bill up to date and informed him that he’d need to pay in full before anything else got done, took some time off to spend with my family, shut down his subsequent gaslighting (apparently, and I quote, it was “a throwaway comment that I have since forgotten” and he’s offended by my reaction to it)…

And told on him to his wife.

Ooh, she’s livid. He’s gonna get it when she comes home.

In the meantime, he’s got seven tonnes of grit blocking his driveway and thirty tonnes of soil piled up in front of his house. Which will still be there when she gets back, because I’m spending some time with my family instead.

So, a lovely day off with my wife to go see our new campervan. We may even stop off for lunch somewhere pleasant and tonight, for once my knees won’t keep me awake.

Photo of a planter (and pretty-much everything else in the photo) I made for an elderly client. She was delighted, and hardly threatened me at all.

#Gardening
#Landscaping
#Narcissist
#JoinIn

A photo of a raised planter. The planter is made out of upright 6”x2” wooden beams, arranged in an L shape. The inside of the L is curved, to allow better access into the corner. There are some runner bean plants in plastic trays arranged on top, ready for planting. The planter is in a corner which has been flattened and grit laid down. Behind it, a ramp with a handrail leads down from the house, which is set on a higher level.
Badgardener
@Badgardener@mountains.social

(S)hit and Run.

#Gardening
#JoinIn

A photo of a brown-shelled snail on a strap-shaped leaf (Crocosmia Lucifer), having presumably just done a poo. The snail is heading off to the right of frame, but the joke's on them, as they're about to run out of leaf. Sooner or later, they're going to have to return to the scene of the crime. It'll be later, of course...
Badgardener
@Badgardener@mountains.social

"GOOD MORNING! Would you like to talk to me about dinosaurs?"

#Chickens #gardening #FeatheredDinosaurs

A photograph of a chicken. This is red, a brown hen in my back garden flock. She's sitting on my lap, looking straight at the camera so that her comb is pictured straight-on. Her head is slightly tilted, giving her a quizzical air. The background is blurred, but a couple of chickens can be seen pecking around my feet.
Badgardener
@Badgardener@mountains.social

Chicken SWAT team available for hire: embassies liberated, strongholds stormed, that general kind of thing. Morally-questionable black ops involving expensive flower bulbs a speciality.

Payment accepted in most currencies, including sweetcorn, rice and good quality mash.

(Training facility not fully completed, but it turns out the answer to "Can you teach chickens to use a spiral staircase?" is no - because they can already do it - and you *don't* need to build one to find out. Hopefully this information will help others.)

#chickens #gardening #SomeRiskInvolved #JoinIn #Woodworking