Brutkey

myrmepropagandist
@futurebird@sauropods.win

The people of New York have a strange relationship to plants. We are perhaps somewhat alienated from nature, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the cabbages. When I first saw the cabbages I was angry.

They were growing in a tree box on the sidewalk in Midtown a place not a suitable most plants, especially a cabbage, and clearly someone had spent like a Sultan. These were big healthy transplants.
1/

myrmepropagandist
@futurebird@sauropods.win

Oh these were gorgeous purple, cabbages, already big and leafy: if they had been just placed in my roof garden, they would’ve formed the most lovely heads nurtured by vermiculture.

But no! these cabbages would languish in midtown Manhattan, get pissed upon by dogs and be inedible. It was infuriating.

2/


myrmepropagandist
@futurebird@sauropods.win

BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.

can you guess?

that’s right they were FAKE.

plastic cabbages!!

I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3