What if I'm wrong about being right all the time? What if my cynicism is laziness - a way to avoid the vulnerable work of believing in something that might not work out? It's much easier to be skeptical than to be invested. Much safer to predict failure than to risk disappointment.
10/16
The optimist in me used to see possibility everywhere. Yes, that led to some spectacular failures and embarrassing miscalculations. But it also led to the best things I've ever done, the most meaningful connections I've made, the work I'm most proud of.
11/16
None of that happened because I was realistic about the odds.
I'm starting to think that cynicism isn't the opposite of naivety; it's just naivety in a different direction. The naive optimist believes everything will work out. The naive cynic believes nothing will.
12/16
Both avoid the harder work of engaging with reality as it actually unfolds, messy and unpredictable and occasionally miraculous.
13/16
I want to get back to building things instead of just critiquing them. I want to be surprised by success instead of satisfied by failure. I want to care about the outcome more than I care about being right.
14/16
Most of all, I want to remember what it feels like to hope for something without immediately calculating the probability of disappointment.
The world has enough people explaining why things won't work. What it needs are people willing to be wrong about the possibility that they might.
15/16
I'm ready to be naive again.
Starting now.
16/16
@Daojoan@mastodon.social I'm not ready to be naive ever again. I try to keep a balancing act between enthusiastic "let's do this!" and cautious "but if it doesn't work, what's the fallback?".
Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.
Mindless optimism is at least as psychologically harmful as mindless pessimism in my view. Perhaps even slightly more harmful. I think optimism tempered by experienced wisdom is the better, albeit narrower and more difficult, path to follow.
@Daojoan@mastodon.social
👏
👏👏
the worst is #cynicism about #politics
cynicism is acceptance, #prematureCapitulation
cynicism is malice and abuse that you've internalized
it doesn't mean you try the same crap that didn't work before
but it means you try something
always, forever
that's not crazy
that's just life
there is always adversity
you must always deal with it
the worst you can do is shrink from it and yield to it
be a happy warrior
10,000 arrows incoming?
smile and move forward
@Daojoan@mastodon.social
Well told.
Better naive and curious than stuck in a predictable cell.
Let's go, as long our energy isn't drained.
@Daojoan@mastodon.social The hardest thing is learning to treat yourself as you would a dear friend or a child, to be curious and compassionate. Naivety is a beautiful condition that causes children to look at the world with eyes full of wonder. Its crouching down and noticing the beauty of the weeds in the garden, the smell of junipers in the summer heat, the sensation of walking in the rain, the sounds the insects make in the evening or the taste of a dandelion flower sampled from a wild hillside.
@Daojoan@mastodon.social you didn’t ask for advice. I have no expectation of you, so no pressure.
A possible way to break the addiction is to find a non-profit you can support and go volunteer. If it’s a pet shelter, go. If it’s packing bags of food at a food bank, go. Whatever cause floats your boat, go.
not every pet gets adopted, but some do. There will always be hungry people in the world, but you’ll have a part of feeding some of them. Even though successes won’t be 100%, you’ll know that you’ve had a part in making the world a better place and you’ll be able to focus on successes rather than the failures of the world.
again, I have no expectation that you’ll do this, but that might be a way to lift you out of your cynicism. Regardless of what path you take or don’t, I wish you the best.
@Daojoan@mastodon.social no need to jump back. You did long way. Because you has a reason. Now you see issues. Amazing! Get the new ideas to go further!
Naivety to start, cynism to prepare plan, new hope to build.
Cynism is still useful in small doses, sometimes enough just to have possibility to be cynic.
And don't listen to internet strangers like me 🫡
@Daojoan@mastodon.social this is called growing up. And many people stop at this point as if it's the destination of maturity. But, no, reaching beyond into the next level of hoping and doing and taking chances goes beyond that and though you'll get called immature and childish, you're just being alive. Not giving up. Never give up .
@mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Daojoan@mastodon.social
well said
cynicism in and of itself is not wrong per se
it's very useful to use it to look at the other side of a thought
then we can accept the cynical analysis and try a different thought, reject the cynical analysis, or alter the original thought to incorporate the cynical observation
what we can't do is make cynicism our entire personality, the beginning and ending of our entire thought processes
that's pretty much the death of {gestures broadly}
@benroyce@mastodon.social @mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Daojoan@mastodon.social
@DrPen@mastodon.social @Daojoan@mastodon.social
and the truth is that the cynicism of those calling you childish is what is childish
or rather, blind idealism is childish, cynicism is teenagerish, and realistic optimism is maturity
@FrancoisPrague@mastodon.social @mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Daojoan@mastodon.social
exactly
1. idealism is a form of failure. which is not a condemnation of idealistic people. we all start out as idealists in life
2. cynicism, as idealism's mirror image, is also a failure. it's what naturally follows from step 1 because of inevitable adversity
3. maturity is using idealistic thoughts to guide you, but filtering it through realism (not cynicism)
the problem is people stuck on step 1, or step 2
all of us should strive to reach step 3
@benroyce@mastodon.social "Idealism is a form of failure."
🤯
@FrancoisPrague@mastodon.social @mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Daojoan@mastodon.social
exactly
1. idealism is a form of failure. which is not a condemnation of idealistic people. we all start out as idealists in life
2. cynicism, as idealism's mirror image, is also a failure. it's what naturally follows from step 1 because of inevitable adversity
3. maturity is using idealistic thoughts to guide you, but filtering it through realism (not cynicism)
the problem is people stuck on step 1, or step 2
all of us should strive to reach step 3
@benroyce@mastodon.social "Idealism is a form of failure."
🤯
@benroyce@mastodon.social "Idealism is a form of failure."
🤯
@Gustodon@mas.to
it's a stage in development towards maturity
it's not so much a failure mode as a premature mode that we all pass through
although you can call it a failure mode for some people who cling to idealism stubbornly, to their own detriment (and our collective detriment if they convince others to cling to idealism)
@benroyce@mastodon.social "Idealism is a form of failure."
🤯
@Gustodon@mas.to
it's a stage in development towards maturity
it's not so much a failure mode as a premature mode that we all pass through
although you can call it a failure mode for some people who cling to idealism stubbornly, to their own detriment (and our collective detriment if they convince others to cling to idealism)
@Gustodon@mas.to
it's a stage in development towards maturity
it's not so much a failure mode as a premature mode that we all pass through
although you can call it a failure mode for some people who cling to idealism stubbornly, to their own detriment (and our collective detriment if they convince others to cling to idealism)
@benroyce@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to i think idealism is a direction. Cynicism is a tool. Realism - this is a bit tricky, i guess realism is a result or unstable balance.
@Gustodon@mas.to
it's a stage in development towards maturity
it's not so much a failure mode as a premature mode that we all pass through
although you can call it a failure mode for some people who cling to idealism stubbornly, to their own detriment (and our collective detriment if they convince others to cling to idealism)
@benroyce@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to i think idealism is a direction. Cynicism is a tool. Realism - this is a bit tricky, i guess realism is a result or unstable balance.
@benroyce@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to i think idealism is a direction. Cynicism is a tool. Realism - this is a bit tricky, i guess realism is a result or unstable balance.
@mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to
realism, i think, can be defined as nothing more than idealism shaped by experience
you still aim to the good goal
but now you know the road is not simple
so you continue towards the good goal, but you get there with the tools that adversity taught you, which can be called cynicism
cynicism (as a personality, not as a tool as you say and i agree) is sitting down on the side of the road and giving up. cynicism as a personality is giving in to adversity, a failure mode
@benroyce@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to i think idealism is a direction. Cynicism is a tool. Realism - this is a bit tricky, i guess realism is a result or unstable balance.
@mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to
realism, i think, can be defined as nothing more than idealism shaped by experience
you still aim to the good goal
but now you know the road is not simple
so you continue towards the good goal, but you get there with the tools that adversity taught you, which can be called cynicism
cynicism (as a personality, not as a tool as you say and i agree) is sitting down on the side of the road and giving up. cynicism as a personality is giving in to adversity, a failure mode
@mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to
realism, i think, can be defined as nothing more than idealism shaped by experience
you still aim to the good goal
but now you know the road is not simple
so you continue towards the good goal, but you get there with the tools that adversity taught you, which can be called cynicism
cynicism (as a personality, not as a tool as you say and i agree) is sitting down on the side of the road and giving up. cynicism as a personality is giving in to adversity, a failure mode
@mcSlibinas@mastodon.social @Gustodon@mas.to
realism, i think, can be defined as nothing more than idealism shaped by experience
you still aim to the good goal
but now you know the road is not simple
so you continue towards the good goal, but you get there with the tools that adversity taught you, which can be called cynicism
cynicism (as a personality, not as a tool as you say and i agree) is sitting down on the side of the road and giving up. cynicism as a personality is giving in to adversity, a failure mode
JA Westenberg
