StillIRise1963@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world
How do you check your racism? What do you say to yourself?
StillIRise1963@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world
Oggie@Oggie@woof.group
@StillIRise1963@mastodon.world
Having grown up with some of that southern stuff, I think my most prominent thing is I am actively more likely to initiate a conversation with a person of color, just out in the everyday.
You know, assuming they're not giving off 'don't interact' vibes ( avoiding eye contact, wearing headphones, drilled into their phone).
Otherwise I just try to review if race came up in any interactions over the day, and see if I did something I can improve on, when winding down at night.
Cait the Proud Trans Woman@oldladyplays@wargamers.social
@Oggie@woof.group @StillIRise1963@mastodon.world
The one thing i do that is race-based is that i tend to meet the eyes (if they're willing) and genuinely smile when i see people of colour, and especially Black people. My reasoning is that i have heard from my friends that they receive less eye contact, and that what they get is often challenge-like; that people behave in public as though Black people especially are scary or dangerous; and that this adds up.
I've had bad days of getting misgendered. Might have happened...40 times that day? And each one i graciously corrected them, smiled, and got on with it. Bc i learned quickly that taking it in was bad for my mental health, i learned this pattern to fairly reliably defuse situations.
And when, on those days, someone showed me a moment of just ordinary kindness, it helped for a minute. Like walking in a cold rain and passing under a road...you get that brief relief, but the walk isn't over. You're going to get cold and wet again before you get home. And maybe even splashed by an asshole in an SUV who steered for the puddle.
So i took the premises above, that said "this is something that Black folk experience" and decided that any effort had to be real, or any wary person is going to clock your fakeness. So i started trying to smile consciously when a Black person entered the shot in a show (Black Panther near broke my face).
Soon i associated seeing those faces with smiling, and with pleasure, so i kept doing it. And when i realised on the street one day that i had just started doing it, i realised it was true: seeing people who are not like me is integral to my happiness. It genuinely brings me a little joy that we're both here for that moment. And i can show that on my face now.
So i just let my genuine joy that they are part of our shared society show.
And here's the crucial bit: what i expect in return.
Nothing. Not recognition, not a nod, a word, a smile, or anything else. Not meeting my eyes.
I only want to own me.