Fiona :transbian: :autism:@Fiona@blahaj.zone
Without any reference to a current event (which makes this a good time to post this): If you think I fucked up in an interaction with you and my apology comes across as insincere: The latter is probably not the case, I just have a very strong instinct that I should explain myself, which can sadly come across as me trying to justify actions (especially if the explanation is very long and the „sorry“ is only at the start or ending), when that is rarely how it is meant. What I actually mean to do there is to show my line of thinking that led to the fuck up to demonstrate the lack of ill intent.
There is a good chance that this is an autism thing, but please believe me when I say, that I only say sorry for things that I’m actually sorry about.
Because as a general rule, I’m not someone backing down to social pressure if I believe that I am in the right and will make that clear when communicating: I will still reach out to attempt to see if there may have been misunderstandings and to see if whatever relationship I have with the person in question can be saved, but I won’t give in on points that I deem to be true. That is what being principled means to me, and what I want people to be able to expect from me.
A big reason why I may still reach out in those cases is that in my experiences most conflicts result from communication fuckups and it always saddens me when that causes friendships or similar to break, even when just looking at it as an outsider, let alone when I’m an involved party.
Now, on the rare occasion that I actually DO have ill intent towards someone (almost exclusively public figures, but there may be exceptions to this rule): You WILL be able to tell! If you have doubts, it’s probably not that!
So: If you are wondering whether I fucked up communicating or tried to avoid blame: It’s probably the former. I know I’m bad at it.