Paragone@Paragone@hear-me.social
It is interesting that .. once one has been subject to enough decades of progressing gaslighting & treacherous "support" by both "family" & "support" institutions, ..
.. it becomes completely nonpossible for any normal emotionally-dishonest human-"closeness" of "belonging" to exist within one.
What a glorious place to be in: honesty *doesn't exist* in the "humanness" "relationships" that have existed in my life..
Not even one of them.
"If you want something done correctly, then do it yourself."
How much gloriously-better to be honestly isolated, honestly excluded,
*to be upright with, & within, oneself,*
rather than dishonest for sake of phony "belonging"/"acceptability"..
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I like this intrinsic-isolation, where only intellectual-based-relationship can have any validity between human-lives & "me".
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"All the better to be climbing Jacob's Ladder with, my dear",
an abstract-"wolf" might say to the ignorant unconscious-mind in me .. that has worked so damn hard to .. "belong" .. instead of earning the self-conquering of climbing "Jacob's Ladder" ..
.. the "ladder" of climbing out from the tarpit of continuum/soul unconsciousness,
& the prison of perpetual-reincarnation containment..
Breaking the unconscious-mind-PROTECTED prison of self-dishonesty-for-sake-of-phony-"belonging" .. yes: here is a kind of iron worth..
What an interesting perspective it is, to be completely excluded from the entire category of self-dishonesty-rooted "worth" that my "life" offered me, all these decades.
No point in wishing I'd earned this as a boy: the substance that my-awareness was, back then, couldn't have dealt-with, let-alone understood, just how profoundly-dishonest "family" is, or "human" is..
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So.
A category of "worth" discarded,
then it means I have to create a category of worth to replace it with, right?
How about I become the despised-whistleblower, then?
The one who intolerably speaks cutting-truth that acceptable-people *won't* hear..
I get to keep my wonderful total-inner-isolation from humankind,
AND I get to keep my relationship with uprightness, too..
I like it..
Nice goal, .. to what I've become..
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