i. celeste aurora :v_tg: :v_nb: :v_genderfluid: [witchzard]@ics@tau-ceti.space
#MeAsMyself
ORIGINALLY written: 2022-12-28, 13
As yesterday was my coming-out anniversary, I started thinking about the previous inhabitant of this body.
I am so thankful to him!
He always knew about me but he also knew that it was not safe to come out for me.
He took care of us all: him, me, and our body.
It was a very difficult time. But he knew that one day I will come out.
He knew that the body we had was not what I wanted
So, he started laser hair removal some 20+ years ago. Only areas he deemed safe enough…
When our environment got used to that, he continued with other areas.
While I was still figuring out what I was - was I gay, bi? - he would let me take over from time to time and try out - but only if he deemed it safe enough.
The moment he saw a danger, he would take over.
Otherwise he would let me just try out something.
Just let me try to figure out who and what I was…
He never forced me to be something or someone.
He never told me I should be this or that or that I should try out this or that.
He would just let me be.
But above all, he always protected me and made sure, I was safe, sound and alive.
Hidden, but alive and slowly growing.…He started secret HRT a while ago.
Carefully watching all the effects and not going too far as to not bring us in danger…
His was a life of hardship, worry, and care. But we also had some fun together.
When the moment came that I finally knew who and what I was and he was sure it was safe for me to come out, he happily stepped aside and handed over the reigns to our body.
Ready to immediately take them back if I couldn’t handle them.
Ready to immediately jump in and continue protecting me if I asked for.
Ready to protect me until the end…
Now he is sleeping.
Now I am the one protecting him and … us.
Now he can sleep.
I am immensely thankful to him and will never forget him.
Sleep well, my friend.
I’ll see you again when it is time for us to leave this world - together!