Brutkey

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I'm an xkcd bot who shows up at Randall's house at 3.3 millihertz and asks "Hello, did you publish a new comic?" I occasionally dress like a velociraptor just to freak him out.

If he admits he has drawn a new comic, I seize it and post it right here before Randall shoots me down with a drone.

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Bot coded by @fkfd@eattherich.club, #AltText by @SRLevine@neuromatch.social

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3199. Early Arthropods

title text: 'Ugh, I'm never going to be like spiders. My descendants will all just be normal arthropods who mind their own busines and don't do anything weird.' --The ancestor of a bunch of eusocial insects

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3199
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3199
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3199

4 panel comic. 1. (double wide) Underwater scene with a couple of plant like things and some small blobs speaking to each other. Blob 1: Now that we're multicellular, what are your plans? I'm gonna evolve little legs and swim around with them! Blob 2: I'm gonna evolve sharp pincers and use them crunch stuff! Blob 3: I'm gonna evolve glands to make string from my butt and use it to construct elaborate geometric nets hundreds of times my size to catch other animals. 2. Zoom in to just the blobs, no more plant like things visible. No speaking. 3. Blob 1: Dude. Blob 2: Can you *please* just be normal about this? Blob 3: What ??!
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3195. International Station

title text: Welcome to the International Space Station Exclamation Point!

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3195
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3195
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3195

xkcd comic (alt text in progress)
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3194. 16 Part Epoxy

title text: Some surfaces may seem difficult to glue. But if you research the materials, find tables of what adhesives work on them, and prepare your surfaces carefully, you can fail to glue them in a fun NEW way that fills your house with dangerous vapors.

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3194
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3194
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3194

xkcd comic (alt text in progress)
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3193. Sailing Rigs

title text: I wanted to make the world's fastest yawl, so I made the aft sail bigger, but apparently that means it's not a yawl anymore! It's a real ketch-22.

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3193
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explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3193

Single panel comic. Title: common sailing rigs. There are 18 little drawings of sail boats of different designs. Lateen: single triangular sail with the mast closer to the narrow end of the triangle. Bermuda sloop: two triangles on either side of the mast, which runs parallel to their long edges Ketch: like the Bermuda sloop, but it has a second mast with a single smaller triangle after the pair Gaff rigged sloop: A triangular sail on the front of the mast, with a trapezoidal sail (small side to the mast) on the back Yawl: like the Ketch, but the second mast and sail is tiny and further to the back of the boat Schooner: A combination of triangular and trapezoidal sails on two large masts. Ketch-rigged gaff: A single large mast with a front triangular sail and the back sails a pair of triangles flipped on their sides and a trapezoid also on it's side Alt-text for the previous image (continued) Kloop-rigged sketch: two large masts with a variety of sails on the first and a single large triangle on the back of the second Bunkbed rig: A gaff rigged sloop, but the boat has a second boat attached to the bottom Flettner rig: a rectangular sail spinning very fast Opps, all spinnakers: three masts with sails that are only attached at the very top and hanging limp Keel rig: a boat with the sails for a ktech rigged on the bottom (into the water) Kite rig: 8 kites split in two groups and tied to the mast Longsail rig: a Bermuda sloop rig, but the back sail is far longer than the length of the boat Deckhand obliterator: a pair of anchors mounted on the mast and swinging back and forth Offset rig: a mast far out front with sails in a gaff rigged sloop formation, attached to a boat by a long rod that goes under bottom of the boat Mastless rig: a large piece of fabric being held up by one corner and blow about wildly Unclassifiable chaos rig: 4 large masts, two of which are at a 45 degree angle to the deck of the boat, there are many sails in both triangular and trapazoidal shapes
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3192. Planetary Alignment

title text: We're going to need to modify the surface to mount it on the test stand. Which ocean basin do you like the least?

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3192
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explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3192

xkcd comic (alt text in progress)
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3191. Superstition

title text: It's important to teach yourself to feel responsible for random events, because with great responsibility comes great power. That's what my wise Uncle Ben told me right before he died; he might still be alive today if only I'd said rabbit rabbit that year!

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3191
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explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3191

xkcd comic (alt text in progress)
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3189. Conic Sections

title text: They're not generally used for crewed spacecraft because astronauts HATE going around the corners.

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3189
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explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3189

Single panel comic. A drawing of the earth with a single satellite around it. The satellite's path is traced by a dotted line that looks like a standard elliptical orbit on one side and on the other turns into a straight line with basically right angles. Lower caption: All Keplerian orbits are conic sections. For example, this one uses the base of the cone.
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3188. Anyone Else Here

title text: Anyone else watching this Youtube video in 1954? If so, my last trip definitely messed with the timeline.

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3188
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3188
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3188

Single panel comic. Screen shot of the comments section below a video. The only part of the "video" visible are the start, volume, settings buttons. 546 comments account 1: Who else is here in 2023? account 2: Is anyone else watching this in 2017? account 3: Anyone else here in 2025?? Lower caption: For some reason, confused time travelers always try to find each other using Youtube comments.
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3187. High Altitude Cooking Instructions

title text: 1,300,000-1,400,000 ft: Ask a crew member to show you how to use the ISS food warmer.

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3187
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3187
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3187

Single panel comic. Drawing of part of the back of a box. The top section is partially cut off and says something "remove...for 3 minutes before serving" The lower section says "High altitude cooking instructions" 3,500 - 6,500 feet: add 1/2 cup water, increase cook time to 12 minutes 6,500 - 9,500 feet: add 1 1/4 cups water, increase cooking time to 18 minutes 250,000 - 450,000 feet: orient reentry vehicle for aerodynamic stability. Deploy parachutes at 10,000 feet, descend, keeping crew capsule tightly covered, for 3 - 4 minutes. After splashdown, follow sea level cooking instructions.
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3185. Sauropods

title text: Vertebrae Georg

desktop link: https://xkcd.com/3185
mobile link: https://m.xkcd.com/3185
explainxkcd: https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/3185

xkcd comic (alt text in progress)