Fesshole 🧻
Fesshole 🧻Detective and an informant handler. Once met a source at an airport gate. Even with extraordinary clearance to even fly while armed, I couldn't bring my coffee with me through because exemptions existed for firearms but not liquids more than 100mL
Fesshole 🧻Married for 15 years, we've spiced up our sex life by writing erotic fiction to each other. Discovered we're both far more depraved than either previously realised. Highly recommended.
Fesshole 🧻I try to park my Vespa next to another Vespa in the carpark whenever possible so they can chat, in Italian.
Fesshole 🧻Father of two daughters. Started sitting down to pee when they were toddlers so if they walked in they'd see how it was done. 10 years later still doing it; so much more comfortable; less drips and no mess. Men; ignore the propaganda, sit to pee.
Fesshole 🧻You lucky cunts who don't have or work with kids have no idea how lucky you are you don't have to hear "6-7" every minute of the day. Genuinely feel like just disappearing and living off the grid.
Fesshole 🧻When I was 8 I picked up the Chinese since it was round the corner. One time bossman handed me an extra chicken ball and I ate it from his hand like a deer. Everyone behind the counter erupted with laughter soon as I left. I'm 24 and it still haunts me.
Fesshole 🧻Told a co-worker I'm colour-blind because she kept writing in yellow pen and I hated it. Manager overheard, asked if I struggle with our software, I had to keep the lie going. Now they've spent thousands upgrading it for colour-blind accessibility. Oops.
Fesshole 🧻Our French school teacher was called Mr Segar. Every time he walked into the room the whole class would cry out "SEGAAA…!" akin to the start of Sega Megadrive games. He always asked why we did it but to my knowledge no one ever told him.
Fesshole 🧻I thought I wanted to be in a poly relationship. I was wrong. I just love diary management and planning.
Fesshole 🧻I buy stuffed animals at yard sales for my dog. They never hit the floor before being savagely eviscerated of their stuffing, then gnawed to shreds. The children selling their old toys often say "I hope your kid likes it as much as I did." I say "thanks" like a monster.