Mom, Late 30s. Home Cook. Queer disaster. This is my main, because it’s where I talk about important things like being trans, parenting, doing trans stuff, cooking, trans topics, and how cute you all are! 😍🏳️⚧️🥰💜
Please interact with words, not just boosts and favorites, if you would like to follow me. I appreciate your button clicks! But I need words for vibe checks.
Since I may as well spell it out for the world, I enjoy compliments from folks I already interact with, but for clarity, that’s as far as it’s going, and it’s a strictly 18+, women-and-trans-folks-only activity.
I think joy is way more important than I was taught in school.
I’m an #asexual#trans#lesbian, which is a particularly cursed combo for reasons I won’t explore here. But suffice it to say I therefor have reason to explore the nuances of what kinds of touch I enjoy, and in doing so I’ve observed that, for me, I experience episodic desire for #SensualTouch that is disconnected from my episodic experience of being horny. I’ve taken to describing this as feeling #SkinThirst.
Some disambiguation: I distinguish being skin thirsty from being chronically touch starved in the same way that wanting to get some sunshine in my hair is different from a chronic vitamin D deficiency - one is an experience I have episodically that might last hours to days, and the other is a long-term lack of something important. Both can be true at the same time, but I mean different things by them.
By way of illuminating the difference from being horny, I’ve observed that when I’m horny, masturbating and having an orgasm can satiate that need. By contrast, feeling skin thirsty cannot be slaked without someone else touching me. It may fade in time on its own, but masturbating does absolutely nothing for it, because my needs for sensual touch are not addressed by sexual activity, except coincidentally. Additionally, I get horny and skin thirsty on TOTALLY different frequencies. I’m horny maybe once a month. I get skin thirsty at least weekly, and often more frequently than that.
And when I say I get skin thirsty, it means I CRAVE focused, intentional touch. Preferably in large quantity. I’ve described this as “making out in such a way as to get a hard R rating.” However, for me, a romantic component isn’t actually required, it is possible to get what I need platonically.
Here are some of my previous threads about this - there’s some fabulous discussion in there, and I was surprised to find how many people experience skin thirst as disconnected entirely from their experience of feeling horny OR that there was a connection, but not one that was entirely one-to-one.
I’m planning on dying beautiful on the inside. If it’s today, or tomorrow, or next year, or in another half century, people who matter to me know I’m a woman and my name is Willow. If it’s unjust, and I’m trans, so it will be, remember me on our Day of Remembrance.
In the mean time, I plan to live my life so the patriarchy quivers at my high-heeled step, my children know they can be whoever they are and they’ll know their paths by listening to themselves, and the eggs come to rest near my warmth.
My first experience in the world was to be non-consensually gendered. Before my umbilical cord was cut, medical professionals had decided how they would gender me. Everyone else followed. I was not given a chance to consent to that gendering and the role that came with it. I was not given a chance to say no.
That act of violence came with further coercion. I was conscripted to follow the rules of the gender that was forced on me, and those rules included gaslighting myself about who I was; any deviation from the role I was assigned was to be shamed at a minimum.
Dear cis women who genuinely want more trans women in your club/company/organization,
Why? Why do you want trans women to feel comfortable in that organization? Let that sit a moment, we’ll come back to it.
Trans women (and do you mean women? What about trans people who identify as… not women, but not men? What about trans women with beards? I’ve barely scratched the surface with these examples) learn fast that talk is cheap, only actions matter. If you want trans folks to feel comfortable with you, do things to help marginalized folks.
Teach technical skills to non-stereotypically technical people.
Publicly pressure local officials to make statements supporting the local abortion clinic.
Shun TERFs. For goodness sake, don’t promote Harry Potter books. Why not your beloved HP? JK Rowling is a famous and well-funded TERF.
My basic makeup routine! My goal is to lay down a basic natural look face fast and with minimal fuss:
- Minimizing masc features - Beard shadow - Grey stubble - Heavy jawline - Highlighting femme features - Lips - Overall healthy look - Warm tones - Not too thick - Not “flat” - Sparkle - Because I do it for me. And me says, sparkle!
I’m going to go through how I do my routine over a few posts, collected with #WillowDoesMakeup. I am far from an expert (I’ve only been doing a full face daily since September), but this has come up a few times recently and I want to be able to share what I’ve picked up.
Someone bought me something, and it arrived today.
I almost took a smiling selfie with it and sent it to that person. A perfect execution of the Gratitude action, as taught by my parents. “If you want more presents, you have to send a thank you note.”
What if I don’t want more presents? What if I want my children to learn about delighting in the gifting, not in the theater of receiving? What if I don’t want to relate to the people who are important to me in transactional relationship of gift giving and hollow gratitude, or worse, unbounded and metastasizing emotional debt?
PSA: single-evening dance-and-makeout sessions with people you just met and never intended to see again (and are very explicit and clear about that with them) are fun.
I’m an #asexual#trans#lesbian, which is a particularly cursed combo for reasons I won’t explore here. But suffice it to say I therefor have reason to explore the nuances of what kinds of touch I enjoy, and in doing so I’ve observed that, for me, I experience episodic desire for #SensualTouch that is disconnected from my episodic experience of being horny. I’ve taken to describing this as feeling #SkinThirst.
Some disambiguation: I distinguish being skin thirsty from being chronically touch starved in the same way that wanting to get some sunshine in my hair is different from a chronic vitamin D deficiency - one is an experience I have episodically that might last hours to days, and the other is a long-term lack of something important. Both can be true at the same time, but I mean different things by them.
By way of illuminating the difference from being horny, I’ve observed that when I’m horny, masturbating and having an orgasm can satiate that need. By contrast, feeling skin thirsty cannot be slaked without someone else touching me. It may fade in time on its own, but masturbating does absolutely nothing for it, because my needs for sensual touch are not addressed by sexual activity, except coincidentally. Additionally, I get horny and skin thirsty on TOTALLY different frequencies. I’m horny maybe once a month. I get skin thirsty at least weekly, and often more frequently than that.
And when I say I get skin thirsty, it means I CRAVE focused, intentional touch. Preferably in large quantity. I’ve described this as “making out in such a way as to get a hard R rating.” However, for me, a romantic component isn’t actually required, it is possible to get what I need platonically.
Here are some of my previous threads about this - there’s some fabulous discussion in there, and I was surprised to find how many people experience skin thirst as disconnected entirely from their experience of feeling horny OR that there was a connection, but not one that was entirely one-to-one.
My first experience in the world was to be non-consensually gendered. Before my umbilical cord was cut, medical professionals had decided how they would gender me. Everyone else followed. I was not given a chance to consent to that gendering and the role that came with it. I was not given a chance to say no.
That act of violence came with further coercion. I was conscripted to follow the rules of the gender that was forced on me, and those rules included gaslighting myself about who I was; any deviation from the role I was assigned was to be shamed at a minimum.
Dear cis women who genuinely want more trans women in your club/company/organization,
Why? Why do you want trans women to feel comfortable in that organization? Let that sit a moment, we’ll come back to it.
Trans women (and do you mean women? What about trans people who identify as… not women, but not men? What about trans women with beards? I’ve barely scratched the surface with these examples) learn fast that talk is cheap, only actions matter. If you want trans folks to feel comfortable with you, do things to help marginalized folks.
Teach technical skills to non-stereotypically technical people.
Publicly pressure local officials to make statements supporting the local abortion clinic.
Shun TERFs. For goodness sake, don’t promote Harry Potter books. Why not your beloved HP? JK Rowling is a famous and well-funded TERF.
I’m planning on dying beautiful on the inside. If it’s today, or tomorrow, or next year, or in another half century, people who matter to me know I’m a woman and my name is Willow. If it’s unjust, and I’m trans, so it will be, remember me on our Day of Remembrance.
In the mean time, I plan to live my life so the patriarchy quivers at my high-heeled step, my children know they can be whoever they are and they’ll know their paths by listening to themselves, and the eggs come to rest near my warmth.
Willow, Venus Pirate 🏳️⚧️
