Brutkey

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Smudge The Insult Cat 🐀🐀
@SmudgeTheInsultCat@mas.to
(Jesus) My mother was a virgin when she gave birth to me. (Another guy) Yeah, that's why three random dudes showed up at your birth with gifts.
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Happy Caturday!

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Me: [throwing another failed entree onto the floor] make it again! Stuart Little: please, i'm not who you think i am my name is stu- Me: [grabbing him by his tiny shirt] make it again rat chef
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@SmudgeTheInsultCat@mas.to
(Newman from Seinfeld sweating) students in 2040 when the teacher asks what their name is but chatgpt servers are down
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Yoda bagels (green bagels with ears that look like Yoda) Anakin bagels (burned bagels)
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@SmudgeTheInsultCat@mas.to
just-shower-thoughts Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate. jpfinch1 I was having a good day. We were all having a good day. churchyardgrim I mean it's kind of not, seeds aren't analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn't analogous to sperm, plants don't do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon lunapics Now we're having a good day again.
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Why do humans need jobs why cant I just sit on a beach with my tits out and stare into the ocean until I die Daily Teen Feed
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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone@verhere ME: I don't know man. You know when there's only like 15 pages left in a book or 5 minutes left in a movie and nothing's been resolved and you get that weird closure anxiety like "okay there's no way any of this is gonna be wrapped up in a way that feels good before it's over." That's what everything feels like all the time now and... WAITER: I meant "are you okay" as in do you need more Diet Coke or anything
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All I'm saying is that the first reporter who yells out "What the f**k are you talking about" deserves a Pulitzer Prize.
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The comfort of the rich depends upon an abundant supply of the poor. VOLTAIRE