Brutkey

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

This 2-part video will get you right up to speed on the risk of a failing Russia. And Melania was the last sane voice in the White House?? Apparently.

#Ukraine #USPol
https://youtu.be/chJGSFw-_30

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

The US is no longer a trading partner. It's a country ruled by crude, loud-mouthed mafiosi thugs.

#USPol #USPolitics

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Jonathan Pie, in his emphatic way, explains precisely why Reform will quite likely form the next government.
Get a grip, #Starmer. #UKPol
https://youtu.be/SpJhyyhuJrY

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Dredging the email archive - item number 62,493...

==================
Reply to Stephen *
It's best not to send jokes like these to us. They are too easily confused with our real helpdesk tickets.

========================

-----Original Message-----
From: Stephen * [mailto:]
Sent: Wednesday, 10 August 2011 8:59 AM
To: ******
Subject: Computer nerds

Here are actual calls to computer technical support reps:

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

=========================
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...

=========================
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it into the computer yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

==========================
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

=========================

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

=========================

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

========================

Sigh.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

@muzej@mastodon.social

fyi :0)

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Thinks, hmm, must buy the missus some vitamins.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Detecting air raids before radar.

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Why not?

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

I do miss these old emails circa 2000 - when getting them was a new experience that made life in the cubicle bearable.
-----------------------------
Consumer Labels - Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer:
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, but thats the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(Good suggestion.)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
(duuuhhhhh)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
(printed on bottom of the box:)
Warning: Do not turn upside down.
(Too late. You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Warning: Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure??? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Warning: Do not iron clothes on body.
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Warning: Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery while taking this product.

(Boy, we could do a lot to reduce construction accidents if we could just keep those 5 year olds off the fork lifts!)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope.)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(...or pets! Whats for dinner?)

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(okay, so now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(have a lobotomy)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Warning: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals.
(What is this, a home castration kit?)

On a child's Superman costume:
Warning: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh sure, thats right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

𝙳𝚊𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚠𝚛𝚊𝚙
@Sheep_Overboard@infosec.exchange

Lolz - old email archive discoveries.

In 1998 had a new boss (Steve) who wanted to ok everything. Clearly getting a bit jack of the micromanaging, I wrote this to Bob, a contractor :0)
--------------------
Bob, Steve *** has thrown the ball back to me so I shall talk to you and you will talk to me and I will ask Steve what to do every time there is a question.

Have you seen this reply from Steve or did he send it to me so I could send it to you? He says: "(yada yada) Thanks, Steve"

Over to you, Bob.