I toot about my real life - chronic pain, fibro, arthritis, AuDHD, mental health.
I toot about my theatre trips, my cross stitch, my random outings.
I toot about F1, books I have read, the little bits of gaming I do.
I'm not a clever geek or nerd like the rest of you, I have no talents, brains or skills, I have nothing interesting to say.
This place is like my online diary and my connection to the world.
Many days I feel like I don't belong here (mastodon and the real world), but I absolutely love the accidental friends I have made along the way. They make my life a little better.
Thanks for letting us lesser beings exist here.
Talk of mental health/suicide
Time to share all the stitchy stuff here...again.
This pattern is called Death by Cross Stitch, it is by Long Dog Samplers. Stitched on white 16ct aida fabric, using approx 370 metres of black DMC thread, 6 needles used. Final stitched area is - 55cm wide and 69cm high.
It took me 2 years to complete this, with lots of breaks.
This was a labour of love, a challenge and a reward to myself. Part of my #MentalHealth journey.
A few years ago, I was in a really bad place, had made an attempt to take my own life. Then I fought for help, was told I didn't meet criteria for mental health support from the NHS. I managed to get counselling through the local carers centre which did help. After an argument with my GP, who screamed at me "What do you want me to do?", and my response of "your job, refer me to psychology", I got an appointment with a trainee psychologist for CBT. Now anyone who is autistic knows that CBT is an absolute load of shite - or it is for me anyway, my brain is suddenly going to be fixed with 6 sessions telling me to change how I think. Anyways, I told that trainee that as a reward for keeping myself alive, I was going to start "Death by Cross Stitch"....I think at that point, she realised that my sense of humour is a bit warped.
Counselling helped more than CBT. Cross stitch is what keeps me alive more than anything. I've been accused of being obsessed with stitching...and yes, I am, because it calms me and stops me disappearing on a downward spiral. Its a form of mindfulness for me, nothing else exists when I stitch and my brain calms down - which is really handy when ADHD is yelling at me to move, but my broken body is begging for me to sit down.
Studies have been done that show how beneficial crafting can be for mental health, and I fully agree with them. Death by Cross Stitch kept me living, and signing my death certificate (the final page in the pattern bundle) was a happy moment.
So yeah, thats the story behind why I tortured myself with Death by Cross Stitch. Pandemic will be my next Long Dog Sampler...once I start another dozen projects that is.
I'll keep stitching to keep myself alive.
#CrossStitch #MentalHealth #Autism #ADHD #Disabled
Breaking free from her original profile and starting new on here, she sneaks in the back door under the cover of darkness.
Oh, hello there, you found me...or did I find you?
It's just me, Fi. That really annoying woman from Scotland that talks way too much then shuts down because everything is overwhelming.
So yeah, about me - Fi, Scottish, carer for my child, cat lady. Disabled thanks to arthritis, fibromyalgia and some unknown thing thats under constant investigation until the docs decide whats going on - or if my body just hates me (it probably does, I don't blame it).
I spend most of my time looking after the cats (fat cat and skinny cat), the child and totally neglecting myself. When I'm not doing caring duties, I'm stitching, gaming or sleeping...although every now and then I venture outside into the real world and it reminds me I don't like it.
I'm mostly found online early morning, usually half dead from lunchtime. Although now and then I will lurk and randomly set up a new account just before bedtime...like now, so hi 😁
#Introduction #Disabled #Gaming #CrossStitch #Cats #Carer
Just went for a short walk because my mind was getting too "busy"....walking up the main road, a white van going down the road slams on the brakes and stops next to me, don't pay much attention to it. Finish my little loop and the van is parked outside my house and the bloke is scrambling about in the back of it.....weird. Very weird.
Good morning lovely ones.
I ate too much cheese last night.
Urgh.
Onwards to another day of feeling like a swamp creature, roll on cooler weather.
Have a fab day folks 😊
I have a finish, hurrah!
Floral Hexagons by Carolyn Manning for Lakeside Needlecraft, a 10 part SAL (stitchalong), the complete pattern is available to buy now.
I absolutely love patterns by this designer, they are simple but look oh so beautiful when they are finished. I am incredibly happy to have this finished, so I can concentrate on other patterns for a while.
@crossstitch@a.gup.pe
#CrossStitch
Why oh why has the song The Motherfucking Pterodactyl been going round my head since I woke up??????
Morning folks,
Monday and all that, have a good one.
Flying visit from me, the end is in sight with the SAL and I NEED to get on with it, its taunting me!
Good morning lovely people, happy Sunday to you. Although I'm likely the only person that thinks its a good morning at 5am on a Sunday, I think most people would like to be sleeping.
I had a 2 hour nap yesterday because of a headache, got up from that long enough to have 2 cups of tea and went back to bed. Started another book, but it was too big to finish in one sitting and I was knackered, asleep again by 8pm, up at 11 to deal with a cat, then slept until 4. Damn good sleep!
I'm still fucked obviously 😂
but at least I slept, hurrah! Today will be all about drinking coffee and stitching.....oh, wait, that is my plan most days 😇
Have a fabulous day folks.
After 3 cups of coffee and a nice cool shower, I might just be ready for some slow stitching. Lets get going with the last part of the SAL>
Good morning lovely people.
Well, that was the night of very little sleep. Between cats, the rain, my late tea and toast, and a good book, I've had 3.5 hours sleep. Oops, oh well, these things happen 😬
It has been a wet and windy night, think its to be like that most of today, seems like a good day to stitch, if I am awake enough for that. Coffee me thinks!
Have the day you need folks 😊
I ended up having a nap, but before the nap I finished this absolute joy of a book.
The very feel of this book brought me joy, sturdy, smooth, fresh pages.
The characters are relatable right from the start, with a smooth flowing character development with a rapid moving plot, this book was a superb read.
Love, hope, ambition, revenge. An interesting historical tale about life on the stage, a journey through the English countryside.
It had me laughing, cheering the cast on, wanting to wrap them in hugs.
A well written historical note at the end, along with a very appreciated authors note.
I loved this book and cannot wait for more.
I bought this book after seeing numerous toots from @alyn@wandering.shop promoting it, and I am really glad I did.
#Books
Last night I finished reading When We Were Killers by C.F. Barrington.
Billed as "A gripping, shocking dark academia thriller about toxic friendship set in Scotland by C.F. Barrington is a masterful blend of suspense, psychological intrigue, and the haunting beauty of Scotland’s academic landscape" by netgalley, I was excited to read this especially as its set local to me, in St Andrews.
My quick summary of the book would be - Rich kids befriend the disadvantaged kid, leading him into a world of drugs with some tenuous links to Norse mythology, bad things happen, rich kids fight, the end.
The book felt superficial, I didn't get to know the characters, it didn't "feel" like St Andrews (or any of the surrounding areas). There was very little of what I would expect from a book billed as "dark academia", it did hit the mark on toxic friendships though. It lacked suspense and intrigue for me.
Would I recommend it? If you want a book that is easy to read and will pass a few hours, go for it. Overall though, no, it just failed to live up to the description.
Another book destined for the charity pile.
#Books
Fi