@dan@discuss.systems

Hi everyone. Time for a #introduction!

I'm a CS researcher at Microsoft Research; formerly faculty at UW CSE.

I do research in #distributedsystems, #operatingsystems, #datacenters and #networking. I've worked mainly on consensus and transaction protocols, and lately programmable switches.

I started the https://discuss.systems/ instance for the computer systems community.

I post about research, food and wine, bad jokes, and cat photos. Sometimes I even explain systems papers using cat photos.

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

Max is ready for Halloween

#cats #catsofmastodon

an extremely tolerant lynx point Siamese cat wearing a shrimp nigiri costume

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

Radioactive floof.

Not so good at hiding when a Geiger counter can find him, is he?

#cats #catsofmastodon

A fluffy cat peeking out from a chair under the dining room table. A bright yellow 1960s Geiger counter next to him is pegged off scale, reading >300 counts/min (>0.5 mrem/hr)

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

@chrisamaphone@hci.social @regehr@mastodon.social one year one of the criteria was "would you invite this person to stay in your home?" which forced me to make a lot of difficult decisions about people in the ASPLOS community

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

@chrisamaphone@hci.social @regehr@mastodon.social but yeah, more generally I am surprised when sometimes "I know this person extremely well" or even "I have talked about the paper under review with this person" are explicitly not conflicts, and sometimes they are

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

Once again, Minion thinks he’s hidden.

#cats #catsofmastodon

A fluffy tail and paw sticking out from behind the base of a table

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

I knew #cats could have their blood pressure taken, but it only just occurred me to today to look up photos of it, and they are even better than I imagined.

Not only do they have tiny blood pressure cuffs, they can take their pressure either on their legs or on their TAILS‽

Stock photo of a calico cat sitting surprisingly calmly on a vet's stainless steel exam table. A blue automatic blood pressure meter is sitting in front of it, connected by a hose to a small red cuff wrapped around the cat's tail.

A tabby cat lying on an exam table with a concerned expression. A person is holding it while it gets its blood pressure taken through a white cuff with green paw prints wrapped around one of its front legs.

A light brown tabby cat sitting up on an table next to a blood pressure meter, with a blue blood pressure cuff around its front leg. It looks confused by this situation.

A fairly chonky tabby cat on a towel-covered exam table, seemingly nonplussed by having a red blood pressure cuff wrapped around the base of its tail.

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

This is, presumably, not a recommended technique.

#cats

A human blood pressure cuff wrapped around a light-colored cat’s entire body. It’s connected to a meter that is reading a pulse of 33 somehow.

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

I knew #cats could have their blood pressure taken, but it only just occurred me to today to look up photos of it, and they are even better than I imagined.

Not only do they have tiny blood pressure cuffs, they can take their pressure either on their legs or on their TAILS‽

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

Miso: I have a long day of meetings scheduled, so let’s get started.

#cats #catsofmastodon

A snowshoe cat sitting on a high-backed red chair behind a black table, looking at you intently.

Dan Ports
@dan@discuss.systems

Hi everyone. Time for a #introduction!

I'm a CS researcher at Microsoft Research; formerly faculty at UW CSE.

I do research in #distributedsystems, #operatingsystems, #datacenters and #networking. I've worked mainly on consensus and transaction protocols, and lately programmable switches.

I started the https://discuss.systems/ instance for the computer systems community.

I post about research, food and wine, bad jokes, and cat photos. Sometimes I even explain systems papers using cat photos.